Why Are Youth In Foster Care?
A state governmental agency may sometimes find it is necessary to place children/youth with a temporary caregiver in order to protect them, prevent further harm, or because they have been abandoned. There are also times when it is necessary to place children into temporary care because the child has needs which their parents are unable to meet. The resources used to care for children who are taken into foster care may be relatives, non-blood kin, foster families, or emergency shelters.
While the most common reason for removal is neglect (55%), most children will have multiple circumstances leading to their removal. Other common reasons include physical abuse (13%), caretaker drug use (32%), domestic violence (9%), inadequate housing (9%) and incarceration of caretaker (6%).
While there are kids and youth of all ages in foster care, the greatest need is for people who will foster older kids and teens, sibling groups, children and youth with special needs, and Spanish-speaking children.
There is a significant push to get more children placed with kinship (people who knew the child before they entered care). With this push, this often means the need for foster homes is for youth who are harder to place.
According to the AFCARS 2023 report, the average length of stay for a child in a foster home is roughly two years. However, the actual length of stay for any particular child is unpredictable, as the amount of time children remain in foster care varies greatly. Once placed in your home, the child could remain for as little as one night, a few weeks, months, or even a year or longer. Some children may eventually become adoptable, opening the opportunity for the child to become a permanent part of your family.
When a case is brought to protective services, they first try to provide support to keep children in their homes. When that is not possible and a child enters kinship or foster care, the parent is given time to address the concerns and hopefully be reunified. According to the Children’s Bureau’s AFCARS report, 46% of children in care are reunified and 27% are adopted. Foster parents need to understand these numbers and be ready to get too attached to children who will return home when their parent(s) complete their treatment plan.
When considering the facts above, one must truly think whether they will be able to support reunification. Yes, you will get emotionally attached, but you need to be able to stand in the gap for the amount of time needed, while handling your emotions.
There may be cases where you will interact with and have ongoing contact with your foster child’s family of origin. This contact may range from authorized phone communication between the child and their family, or arranged visitation & parenting time. The level of interaction you will have with the family may depend on the needs and desires of the child/youth and the comfort level of the foster parent. In some cases, foster families have little or no contact with the child’s family. There are resources to help you make contact in a way that is good for everyone involved. Many support groups give training to help you confidently navigate these relationships.
Foster parents should be cheerleaders for the bio parents, encouraging and helping them work towards their goal of reunification. Some helpful ways to do this are:
- Don’t believe you are better than the child’s parent(s). When you get to know parents, look them in the eye and tell them that you care for them. Doing this helps them believe you are on their side and not trying to take their child from them.
- Never speak negatively about biological parents. Almost always, youth have a deep love for their families and if they hear a foster parent speak badly about them, it drives a wedge and creates distrust. Also, don’t allow others to speak badly about them. Time and time again, we get asked questions about birth parents from friends, family, even strangers and often right in front of the child. Learn how to thwart those questions (and comments) and show the youth you are on their family’s side.
- Keep a journal or folder with information that you pass on during visitation. Foster parents get to experience the day-to-day events that birth parents miss and grieve. Show your care for them and their role by sharing stories, pictures, awards, and art. Ongoing communication can help a parent stay encouraged to work on their treatment plan.
- If your agency doesn’t do Icebreaker Meetings, suggest it! An icebreaker is a meeting between the foster parent(s) and birth parent(s) shortly after placement. It’s a time to get to know one another, open up communication, and for them to share about their child with you.
One of the beautiful things about letting birth parents know you’re on their side is that it often keeps a relationship open after reunification. An experienced foster parent shares, “From that first Icebreaker to the very end, I do everything I can to show parents respect. I don’t always do it perfectly, but my goal is always for them to know their child is in a safe, loving home that will encourage and respect their relationship with one another.”
