Episode 5 – The Need for Fostering and Adopting Siblings with Former Foster Youth Tina Bauer

Tina gives her testimony of being in the foster care system then being adopted. She is able to discuss what she had to go through during her time in foster care and her experience of recovering from the effects of being in foster care after being adopted. Tina elaborates on the issues of reciprocal adoption of siblings and the role she played as a mother figure in her brother’s life. She also talks about what led her to return to foster care as an adult and speak for those children who are waiting to be adopted. To the prospective and current foster parents, Tina offers them some tips to go by among them being to always avoid burning out. The last part of the conversation is a success story of three brothers brought together and adopted as a set. Seventy-five percent of siblings in foster care are separated, which severely affects children’s well-being and creates trauma. The main cause for the separation is the inability of foster homes to accommodate all the siblings. However, one should take into account additional and avoidable harms inflicted by splitting siblings. Children who remain with their siblings are better off in their transition and benefit from better academic, behavioral, and health status. However, there are occasions when it is better for the siblings to be separated and this is where communication in the form of visits, phone calls and writing letters is important. Foster parents should also be in a position to request for chances of the separated siblings to be connected.

 Learn more about being a foster or adoptive parent or supporting those who are in your community.

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TRANSCRIPT:

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Welcome to the foster Friendly podcast,
where we come together

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to make a difference
in the lives of children in foster care

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and the families who care for them.

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Foster friendly communities are part
of a nationwide movement by America’s Kids

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Who Belong.

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That helps people

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from all walks of life take action
and help kids and families thrive.

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You’ll hear from former foster
youth, foster and adoptive parents,

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social workers, faith and business

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leaders, and other experts
on how to engage in meaningful ways.

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Our host Bryan, Travis and Courtney
explore inspiring stories of everyday

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people making a difference in foster care,
where they live and work.

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we’re excited about today’s guest.

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I’ve known her for a few years, and,
she’s she’s fantastic.

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today’s guest is Tina. Tina of.

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And Tina is America’s
Kids Belong social media manager.

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And, Tina is professional.

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Background is in education.

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She’s been a teacher that she joined,
AKB in 2019

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as a former foster youth intern.

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But, we asked her to stay on,

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pastor internship,
because of her experience in foster care.

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Gave her special insight
for us into recruitment for kids

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being filmed by our
I belong project, video program.

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So Tina has helped
AKB social media platform hit

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5 million and reach in recent months.

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And, it’s helped that social media
has been really influential in helping

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kids, with, having families be matched
to them for, placement, for adoption.

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So, Tina, Tina is married.

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she has, a little cute
son and lives in Texas.

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So, Tina, welcome.

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And, thanks for allowing me
to read that official bio of you.

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I would love to have something
a little bit more personal.

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Intimate. So share.

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Share with us a little bit.

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Just, today.

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Yeah. where are you today?

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tell us a little bit about yourself,
your family, and then,

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tell us a little bit more about your role
with America’s Kids Belong.

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Thank you.

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Brian, I’m excited to be here.

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so, like you
said, I’m currently in Texas.

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I am a remote working.

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Work from home, mom.

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so I work for a biscuit salon.

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when I’m not working,
I’m usually cleaning up or

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organizing whatever.

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so I’m.

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Oh. So you you said organizing, I like.

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So right away, it’s like,
that tells me something about yourself.

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That’s not how I would introduce myself.

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So what is?

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Well, you’re not very organized,
so I’m just.

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Or I. Yeah.

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I’m disorganized. So,

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so, like, tell us,

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like why why is that, something
that’s of value to you.

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And organizing is important for me
because it’s a way to cope with my life.

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I just I mean, it’s
been a way for me to just, like, process

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the things that I’ve been through.

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it’s also just a way to have control over
something.

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I love having to draw.

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Also, when you

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have a toddler,
you have to organize your day.

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Oh yeah.

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Tear through your life.

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it’s amazing
how disorganized toddlers are.

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I mean, they are not gifted
administrators.

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It’s, it’s like the top on a blender
at all times.

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Yes. Good description of a toddler.

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Thanks for the intro
and more about your bio

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and just yourself
personally living in Texas.

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So Tina, you were previously in the foster
care system and then later adopted.

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Tell us a little about that journey
and the backstory,

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sort of of what that was like.

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Yeah.

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So I entered foster care shortly
after I was born.

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I was born to a high school freshman,
so she was super young.

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and unfortunately, she was just
not in a healthy environment herself.

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So that really set her up for failure.

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and so, for after I was bored,
my brother was born.

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and so this high school, first person,
two kids, and she was a child herself.

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and just living in that unhealthy,
unsafe environment with us, just,

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you know, just

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set us up for failure in a way.

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all three of us.

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And so that’s when a child
Protective Services stepped in

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and all
three of us were put in foster care.

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my mother would provide one home
for almost

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not like us.

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and so, unfortunately,
my brother and I were put in a unhealthy,

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foster home
where we experienced base neglect.

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which I always say is like,
one of the most disorienting

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experiences in my life
is to be a safe space.

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and there’s a lot going on.

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And, you know, visitations with birth,

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just all the things that come
with being in foster care.

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and also being, like, two years old.

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so, so all that

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and, yeah,

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it just was extremely disorienting for me
when I was supposed to be safe, I wasn’t.

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and then after experiencing those
stressful things of seeing my birth mom,

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then going back to this home,
not having a space to, like, recuperate

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and heal from my trauma,
instead of having that compounded

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trauma and lack of,

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proper
nutrition as well, because we weren’t

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we weren’t fed food.

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So then take us through
so some horrible experiences

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of just far from even gaining stability
and working on healing

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you actually more trauma is out in foster
care on healthy foster homes.

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Is your experience

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trying to navigate through
that being young and then you’re adopted.

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So talk about the adoption
part of that story.

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Yeah.

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So we were

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lucky we were finally adopted.

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and we were adopted together,
which was honestly a miracle

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because we’re only half related.

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and we’re also a minority.

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So those two things just don’t stack
well against us in

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child welfare,
especially before the year 2000.

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everything was very different in Texas.

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and so we were adopted
and we were adopted

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into a healthy family,
which is such a gift.

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but not always guaranteed.

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sorry.

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So that’s all right.

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It was a it was a good environment.

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we were homeschooled.

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I got as a pastor.

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I mean,

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it was really the best environment
you could have asked for.

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but I so really struggled along,
emotionally, mentally and physically.

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I just it was hard.

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And I was a high school.

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High school was one of the hardest times
for me.

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but, yeah,
I mean, the hard comes with the healing.

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How old were you when you were adopted?

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I was four.

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And how old was your brother?

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He was three.

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So when, you guys were adopted

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and you went from a unhealthy and unsafe,

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neglectful foster home,

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and again, that is such a sad story.

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I just I’ve, I’ve.

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I have also seen foster homes
where I think,

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how can this
be better than where they came from?

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It was just, it’s so bad.

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but, when when you transition
to your adoptive family,

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did you feel, safe and secure?

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as a youth.

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And then did you,
then start struggling with,

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identity issues or something later,
as you grew up or how how’d that feel?

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Because the reason I bring it up is
I think so many people feel like,

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hey, once
they’re adopted, it’s all good, right?

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Yeah, that’s a good question.

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I think right off the bat,
I was extremely skeptical.

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I don’t want to trust my parents.

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I didn’t, accessibility.

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you know, being right, there’s no
guarantee that this is going to be better.

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And I had already been told that something
would be better, and then it wasn’t.

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Well, I was only four years old,
and I was like, you can’t treat me like

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I know. Not adults.

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All adults are safe.

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So I really struggled from day one.

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Being in my family,
I think I had better seasons.

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I especially just clashed with my mom

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because she was in that role of mom,
which is just a hard

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relationship with kids
who’ve been adopted, historically.

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So I think, you know,
that was that was a struggle for me.

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not necessarily because of who she was,
just because of her role in my life.

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and so, yeah,

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I mean, I do think that as I felt
more comfortable in my family,

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I would say more of my behaviors came out

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because that’s classic, you know, kids
who are comfortable, they’re going to

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they’re going to act.

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They’re yeah.

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They feel safe to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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They did.

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They feel safe to
you know express the pain.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So I’m curious especially with

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your brother being adopted with you
and wanting

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to kind of highlight
that because that’s such a big deal

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that siblings often are not adopted
together.

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so as a four year old
that you were in a neglectful

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foster home,

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had you taken on as a four year old’s

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or sort of that mothering?

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thing.

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And like, have you grown out of it yet?

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You know a little brother.

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Yeah.

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That’s a good question.

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yes I would say
I definitely grew into that role.

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like my if you ask my brother about foster
care,

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he’ll say
the only thing he remembers is me.

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so, I guess that we grew into that role.

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I mean, we’re only a year and ten days
apart, but I was I was, my name was.

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And I was everyone.

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Yeah.

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Even a few years ago in therapy,
my therapist was like,

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who is your first name?

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Like, that’s how you see him. And it is.

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It is how I still see him.

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And he’s like, taller than me and bigger
than me and looks older than me,

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but I’m so.

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and even growing up,

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like my parents and my siblings understood
that our relationship was closer

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than anyone else in the family
because we had been each other’s family.

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Yeah, or we were adopted
and that had to be okay like that.

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It was just like we were a family before.

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I functioned as an oldest as well,
even in my adopted back.

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But there were times growing up
where my mom would come to me and say,

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okay, you know, I need your advice,
or could you ask him this?

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Or and sometimes it was like
being the third parent at times,

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because she knew that I knew him better
and that he trusted me better than her.

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And yes, you know, it was hard for her
at times as as his parent, but,

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you know, it was just like, oh,
this is just how it is.

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and even now, sometimes
not as much lately.

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But, you know,
even since being married, she,

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like whole, needs to be like,
I need your advice.

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Like, what do I do?

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So, yeah, the.

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I was gonna say to, like,
I had interviewed a family

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that had adopted,

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I think, a pretty large sibling group,
and they made the same point

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that, you know, well, for some people,
that does seem overwhelming.

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The thing people don’t realize as well,
though, is that the transition,

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because they’re already intact
as sort of a family like you described,

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can also ease the transition
into a new family,

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because they have each other and
they have their ways to relate together.

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In that transition, I thought that was
an interesting thing to think about.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, that’s so true.

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I’m sorry.

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That’s no excuse me.

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I’ve got a little bit of cough.

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so, I think,

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yeah, I want to highlight
there is a couple things.

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One is that, that family.

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So who are, fostering
or adopting siblings

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that they really, recognize and honor

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and and and in no way whatsoever feel,

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jealous of that more

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natural, deeper relationship

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because, I mean, they’ve been together,
this, this whole time.

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And, and so that’s something that I,

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it has if you,
if the parents recognize it.

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Right.

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It’s a an incredible benefit,
to, helping these children

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feel safe and healing that,
they’re not out there feeling all alone.

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So, Tina, with, your experience

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in foster care being negative
because you were placed with foster,

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a foster family
that was not, nurturing, not safe.

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why would

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you want to step back into this space
as an adult?

00:13:36:05 – 00:13:39:18
And and, but

00:13:40:09 – 00:13:43:19
what are you, wanting to say

00:13:43:19 – 00:13:47:18
and into this time so that, presumably

00:13:48:15 – 00:13:51:15
kids don’t have the experience you had?

00:13:52:19 – 00:13:53:03
Yeah.

00:13:53:03 – 00:13:54:20
I mean, that’s a really good question.

00:13:54:20 – 00:13:58:15
I began sharing my story
on social media.

00:13:59:16 – 00:14:02:16
I don’t know, in 2017 and 2018.

00:14:02:18 – 00:14:05:03
and that’s actually how H-e-b found me.

00:14:05:03 – 00:14:07:02
through social media.

00:14:07:02 – 00:14:09:15
and I was just,
you know, sharing my story.

00:14:09:15 – 00:14:12:23
And people started to relate to it
or find it

00:14:12:23 – 00:14:16:01
inspiring
or seek my advice about something.

00:14:16:14 – 00:14:19:14
and I really saw
that there was something.

00:14:19:17 – 00:14:21:09
There was something there.

00:14:21:09 – 00:14:26:00
and I think, you know, my main goal
in sharing my story and, and stepping

00:14:26:14 – 00:14:31:07
back into the foster care world
in this role as somebody who helps

00:14:31:16 – 00:14:35:01
create content for kids who are waiting
to be adopted from foster care,

00:14:35:15 – 00:14:39:22
is that, you know,
if I can help at least one kid, like,

00:14:40:11 – 00:14:44:20
not have the experiences that I did like
that would be life changing.

00:14:44:20 – 00:14:48:05
And whether that’s like through advocating
on my personal slack

00:14:49:01 – 00:14:54:00
platform or, like podcast or seminars

00:14:54:01 – 00:14:57:01
or I’ve been invited
to speak at conferences like,

00:14:57:04 – 00:15:01:15
you know, sharing my experiences
or if it’s through, like the work

00:15:01:20 – 00:15:06:09
I do on America’s Kids, one with like
creating that content about the kids

00:15:06:09 – 00:15:11:01
and showcasing who the kids are,
outside of their foster care experiences.

00:15:11:17 – 00:15:15:15
and then hopefully, you know,
healthy families will inquire about them.

00:15:16:00 – 00:15:18:00
that’s kind of how I see.

00:15:21:11 – 00:15:22:07
Yeah.

00:15:22:07 – 00:15:27:00
And you, you know, bring
such a crucial both experientially

00:15:27:02 – 00:15:28:19
but just your viewpoint, your,

00:15:28:19 – 00:15:32:13
your paradigm of seeing the world
through growing up in foster care.

00:15:32:13 – 00:15:35:23
And then to be a this organization
that is about recruiting

00:15:36:02 – 00:15:37:14
and supporting foster families

00:15:37:14 – 00:15:41:05
that you bring that sort of sometimes
against the grain of like, you know,

00:15:41:11 – 00:15:43:15
there can be so much rah
rah to the recruitment side,

00:15:43:15 – 00:15:46:15
but then you can kind of slow things down
sometimes and look at like,

00:15:46:19 – 00:15:48:12
hey, are we focused on this?

00:15:48:12 – 00:15:50:15
Or just be aware of the kids
perspective in this case?

00:15:50:15 – 00:15:54:00
So I know, you know, I work directly
with you in sort of the marketing.

00:15:54:00 – 00:15:56:05
And so we kind of can see that.

00:15:56:05 – 00:16:00:13
And then you can also learn to
from healthy foster parents that,

00:16:00:15 – 00:16:04:19
you know, do bring so much,
a place of stability and stuff like that.

00:16:04:19 – 00:16:06:16
So it’s really amazing.

00:16:06:16 – 00:16:08:05
Have your voice at America’s Kids.

00:16:09:17 – 00:16:10:07
Yeah.

00:16:10:07 – 00:16:13:11
I think if, if you could,

00:16:14:02 – 00:16:17:02
share a message to,

00:16:17:07 – 00:16:19:00
prospective foster parents

00:16:19:00 – 00:16:22:01
in and current ones and adoptive ones,

00:16:22:19 – 00:16:25:19
about,

00:16:27:09 – 00:16:31:02
being healthy parents
from the point of view of a child.

00:16:31:10 – 00:16:34:10
What advice would you give them?

00:16:34:18 – 00:16:35:04
Yeah.

00:16:35:04 – 00:16:37:12
I mean,

00:16:37:12 – 00:16:38:00
you know, I think

00:16:38:00 – 00:16:41:00
if you don’t take care of yourself,
like you can’t take care of your kids.

00:16:42:02 – 00:16:44:05
and if you’re any kind of parent,

00:16:44:05 – 00:16:47:06
or anyone who works with people,
honestly,

00:16:48:09 – 00:16:52:03
you know, especially if you’re,
you know, parenting kids

00:16:52:03 – 00:16:55:11
who they experience foster care
or that kind of trauma.

00:16:55:23 – 00:16:58:16
It’s exhausting.

00:16:58:16 – 00:17:01:11
and one of the reasons why I won’t do it,

00:17:01:11 – 00:17:04:05
but, you know, I’ll just.

00:17:04:05 – 00:17:06:12
I think it’s important
to take care of yourself as a parent.

00:17:06:12 – 00:17:10:06
And I think, you know, as
you take care of yourself as the parent,

00:17:10:06 – 00:17:14:03
whether that’s, you know,
saying no to placements, having breaks,

00:17:15:01 – 00:17:19:02
you know, asking your community to provide
respite care or meals

00:17:19:02 – 00:17:22:22
or mow your lawn and do your laundry,
those types of things.

00:17:22:22 – 00:17:26:01
you’re also modeling for your kids, like,
this is

00:17:26:14 – 00:17:27:23
this is what it means to regulate.

00:17:27:23 – 00:17:31:20
This is what it means to, you know, take
care of yourself when life is challenging.

00:17:32:13 – 00:17:35:05
which I think is so important.

00:17:36:11 – 00:17:37:11
I think about my time in

00:17:37:11 – 00:17:41:05
foster care,
how I wish I had had somebody who,

00:17:41:20 – 00:17:46:01
took care of themselves and understood.

00:17:46:14 – 00:17:49:14
You know, burnout leads to things
that would work.

00:17:50:08 – 00:17:51:20
and, you know, just

00:17:51:20 – 00:17:56:02
understanding this is an extremely
vulnerable time in my life.

00:17:56:02 – 00:18:01:14
And for kids who are in foster care,
and we need people who are,

00:18:02:09 – 00:18:05:12
you know, taking care of themselves
and not trying to do it on their own

00:18:05:19 – 00:18:10:01
or trying to do it,
you know, to impress others or whatever.

00:18:10:01 – 00:18:12:02
Like it’s not a competition.

00:18:12:02 – 00:18:15:06
you know, it’s our life
and it’s our crisis.

00:18:15:06 – 00:18:18:17
And, you know, there’s no shame and,

00:18:19:03 – 00:18:22:03
you know, fostering one kid, and

00:18:22:09 – 00:18:23:08
then that’s it.

00:18:23:08 – 00:18:24:19
Like, there’s no shame in that.

00:18:24:19 – 00:18:27:23
if you do it well, once, like,
that’s that’s amazing.

00:18:28:13 – 00:18:32:01
you know, the goal is not to say yes
the most amount of times.

00:18:32:09 – 00:18:33:19
the goal is to step.

00:18:33:19 – 00:18:35:12
Oh, that’s so good. Families.

00:18:35:12 – 00:18:37:01
Yeah, I love that.

00:18:37:01 – 00:18:39:02
Oh, gosh, that’s so good.

00:18:39:02 – 00:18:42:09
It’s better to do it
well once than to do it badly ten times.

00:18:42:18 – 00:18:44:15
Yeah, yeah.

00:18:44:15 – 00:18:47:16
And create more trauma that is not needed.

00:18:48:10 – 00:18:49:18
it’s such a good point.

00:18:49:18 – 00:18:51:12
I love, I love that sort of.

00:18:51:12 – 00:18:53:17
That is part of the platform
of your voice in us.

00:18:53:17 – 00:18:57:04
And, you know, just a reminder
that self-care isn’t selfish.

00:18:57:17 – 00:18:58:15
You know that idea?

00:18:58:15 – 00:19:01:14
Like,
there’s a preflight check on an airplane.

00:19:01:14 – 00:19:05:23
Like the first thing, they grab
your masks, grab your oxygen so that.

00:19:05:23 – 00:19:09:13
Then after that, I mean, it’s not helps
someone else first on their oxygen.

00:19:09:14 – 00:19:11:07
I mean,
you’ve got to take care of yourself.

00:19:11:07 – 00:19:13:23
We have to ourselves
first to be able to care for others.

00:19:15:15 – 00:19:17:15
So, Tina, I just heard just,

00:19:17:15 – 00:19:22:19
this kind of, a good news report for you,
and has to do with siblings.

00:19:23:03 – 00:19:26:03
So I was just in Georgia
a few days ago, and,

00:19:26:08 – 00:19:29:23
Rebecca, who runs Georgia down there?

00:19:29:23 – 00:19:30:17
And maybe you already know

00:19:30:17 – 00:19:35:06
this story, but,
there were three boys who were in three.

00:19:35:06 – 00:19:35:19
Foster.

00:19:35:19 – 00:19:38:19
separate foster
homes, hadn’t seen each other in months,

00:19:38:23 – 00:19:43:01
and they, were being recruited,

00:19:44:07 – 00:19:47:07
for adoption, to separate families.

00:19:47:19 – 00:19:52:07
But, fortunately, their caseworker
was still advocating for them to be,

00:19:52:07 – 00:19:53:23
together.

00:19:53:23 – 00:19:57:08
So during the
I belong project video shoot,

00:19:57:10 – 00:20:00:15
they were, filmed together.

00:20:00:15 – 00:20:05:13
And one of the things that came through
loud and clear by those boys was,

00:20:05:15 – 00:20:10:13
they wanted to be together
and, older, oldest brother,

00:20:10:20 – 00:20:13:13
you know, we they’re doing football stuff

00:20:13:13 – 00:20:16:16
and you can see the younger ones
really trying to emulate copy him.

00:20:17:02 – 00:20:20:02
you could see you could see the love.

00:20:20:13 – 00:20:23:04
And, after the video was,

00:20:23:04 – 00:20:27:06
filmed and produced,
it was in shown to some

00:20:27:06 – 00:20:30:17
some of the key people in child welfare,
and they changed their goal

00:20:31:04 – 00:20:36:13
to, have them be,
recruited for adopted together. So.

00:20:36:22 – 00:20:39:20
Wow. so, anyway,

00:20:39:20 – 00:20:42:21
Rebecca told that story, and it
I hadn’t heard it

00:20:42:21 – 00:20:47:04
before, and it,
and brought tears to my eyes.

00:20:47:05 – 00:20:52:15
So, So, Tina, understandably,
just from your own experience,

00:20:52:15 – 00:20:55:20
so close to your heart
that there’s a lot of people that even

00:20:55:20 – 00:20:59:16
in the realm of foster care,
don’t understand the significant,

00:21:00:00 – 00:21:05:05
sort of dire situation of sibling groups
that are being separated

00:21:05:05 – 00:21:09:04
just because of capacity issues
and states for foster homes.

00:21:09:04 – 00:21:12:04
I mean, that’s one
need for more foster families.

00:21:12:10 – 00:21:15:21
But then also, like even
how common is for, I guess, kids

00:21:15:21 – 00:21:19:22
that were in foster that get adopted
separately again just because,

00:21:20:11 – 00:21:23:02
you know, kind of so
so some of that’s like staggering.

00:21:23:02 – 00:21:27:20
So tell us more about like what you know
around even statistically or just kind of

00:21:28:05 – 00:21:32:00
you know, this issue of
of sibling separation within foster care.

00:21:34:03 – 00:21:34:11
Yeah.

00:21:34:11 – 00:21:37:04
I mean, it’s it’s so tragic.

00:21:37:04 – 00:21:42:19
you know, up to 75% of siblings who enter
foster care will not be placed together.

00:21:43:05 – 00:21:45:19
and that’s just placement.

00:21:45:19 – 00:21:48:05
I don’t believe that story about adoption.

00:21:48:05 – 00:21:50:05
you know, and I think you’re so right.

00:21:50:05 – 00:21:53:15
Like, I think one of the biggest issues
is capacity,

00:21:54:19 – 00:21:56:16
for foster homes.

00:21:56:16 – 00:21:59:09
the fact that these kids need
that to sleep

00:21:59:09 – 00:22:02:09
in is more important than their related.

00:22:02:23 – 00:22:05:16
and this was just something that happens.

00:22:05:16 – 00:22:07:03
Yeah. yeah.

00:22:07:03 – 00:22:10:12
But I think it, you know, I,
I have to wonder.

00:22:10:13 – 00:22:13:13
and I know that this is something that,

00:22:13:17 – 00:22:16:04
you know, can sometimes make people upset.

00:22:16:04 – 00:22:19:04
but I have to wonder if it’s also,

00:22:19:22 – 00:22:21:20
the fact that, like, foster care

00:22:21:20 – 00:22:24:20
is not often like,
picking and choosing kids.

00:22:25:02 – 00:22:28:19
like you’re who you’re stepping in the gap
for families in crisis.

00:22:28:19 – 00:22:33:07
sometimes that means, you know, taking
more kids than you expected or whatever.

00:22:33:16 – 00:22:36:12
and that’s in no way.

00:22:36:12 – 00:22:40:15
You know, I definitely do not want
people will like, hastily saying yes.

00:22:41:00 – 00:22:44:14
but I also want people to consider
that splitting siblings

00:22:44:14 – 00:22:48:15
up is extra trauma
and I think at times preventable trauma.

00:22:50:05 – 00:22:55:11
and,
but yeah, I mean, the, the impact is huge.

00:22:55:11 – 00:22:57:22
like we mentioned before, like,

00:22:57:22 – 00:23:02:05
if siblings can stay together,
and it’s a healthy relationship.

00:23:02:14 – 00:23:06:20
you know, it can really help them,
you know, transition

00:23:06:20 – 00:23:11:21
from removal and reunification or adoption
or whatever their plan is.

00:23:12:05 – 00:23:15:05
you know, they have that,

00:23:15:11 – 00:23:18:11
someone to relate with after visits.

00:23:18:15 – 00:23:22:20
you know, it’s also been seen
that they do better academically.

00:23:22:21 – 00:23:25:17
behaviorally, even health wise.

00:23:25:17 – 00:23:30:07
you know, the impact of the trauma
on their bodies and their brains can,

00:23:30:19 – 00:23:33:23
can be less because they have, you know,

00:23:35:01 – 00:23:38:01
a piece of their first family with them
the entire time.

00:23:38:10 – 00:23:40:03
yes.

00:23:40:03 – 00:23:45:08
There are instances where, it isn’t
the best for siblings to be together.

00:23:47:09 – 00:23:50:09
but I do believe that that is very, rare.

00:23:50:23 – 00:23:54:22
And, it doesn’t mean that
they can’t have a relationship.

00:23:55:11 – 00:23:58:22
you know, even if they’re not together,
doesn’t mean that they can’t,

00:23:59:04 – 00:24:00:20
you know, see each other
or talk on the phone

00:24:00:20 – 00:24:03:20
or send letters
or park visits or whatever.

00:24:04:16 – 00:24:07:04
So. Yeah.

00:24:07:04 – 00:24:09:15
That’s such a good point
to have even, like, I think, for foster

00:24:09:15 – 00:24:13:07
parents to know, like,
even if they can’t take on, say,

00:24:13:11 – 00:24:16:11
maybe they have part of a sibling group
that was separated.

00:24:16:14 – 00:24:20:07
But to try to be more assertive, even,
I guess with their child welfare workers

00:24:20:07 – 00:24:24:16
too, of how, how can they even connect
them even through zoom or letters or,

00:24:24:17 – 00:24:28:17
you know, I mean, just just ways
to kind of facilitate connection.

00:24:29:17 – 00:24:30:14
So, yeah.

00:24:30:14 – 00:24:33:03
Yeah.

00:24:33:03 – 00:24:35:08
Well, kind of

00:24:35:08 – 00:24:38:13
some of the themes in this episode of,
of talking about, you know,

00:24:38:19 – 00:24:42:18
needing support as foster parents and,
and then you know, how to thrive.

00:24:42:18 – 00:24:43:07
This kind of thing.

00:24:43:07 – 00:24:46:08
So America’s kids
belong has inner shownotes.

00:24:46:08 – 00:24:49:12
We’re going to have some links to
some really good resources that we have.

00:24:49:19 – 00:24:53:16
There was a webinar from last year that
we did on thriving for Foster Families.

00:24:53:16 – 00:24:57:12
So some experts weighed in on that
really helpful discussion around that.

00:24:57:19 – 00:25:01:03
And then we have another one on higher
level needs that really did talk

00:25:01:09 – 00:25:04:12
more in depth about sibling groups
and kind of, you know,

00:25:04:18 – 00:25:07:15
dealing with some of those issues
and being supported.

00:25:07:15 – 00:25:12:00
Of course, what America’s Kids
Belong is doing with, supporting foster

00:25:12:00 – 00:25:16:05
families, you know, the foster friendly
app themes with faith communities,

00:25:16:13 – 00:25:18:07
to wrap around foster families.

00:25:18:07 – 00:25:21:19
We have all an array of resources
and supports on our website.

00:25:21:19 – 00:25:24:21
We will link that that stuff
in the show notes for this episode.

00:25:26:03 – 00:25:27:21
But Tina, thank you so much,

00:25:27:21 – 00:25:31:20
for sharing your experiences
and your insights.

00:25:31:20 – 00:25:34:00
We love having you on the team.

00:25:34:00 – 00:25:36:07
such a great, person

00:25:36:07 – 00:25:41:20
to have, running the social media with,
your, your experience and point of view

00:25:41:20 – 00:25:44:21
and that you’re really prioritizing
health, your prior

00:25:44:21 – 00:25:47:21
to prioritizing the kids,

00:25:47:21 – 00:25:52:19
making sure that, families
are going in it to with motivations

00:25:52:23 – 00:25:55:19
that are, healthy, so, so

00:25:55:19 – 00:25:58:19
grateful love having you on the team.

00:25:59:00 – 00:26:00:13
Yeah,

00:26:00:13 – 00:26:02:03
indeed.

00:26:02:03 – 00:26:05:03
Well,
thanks for being on the podcast today.

00:26:05:03 – 00:26:06:23
We hope you enjoyed today’s episode.

00:26:06:23 – 00:26:10:08
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00:26:10:08 – 00:26:13:10
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00:26:14:03 – 00:26:15:22
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by what you’ve heard today

00:26:15:22 – 00:26:19:03
and want to learn more of how you can make
a difference for kids in foster care

00:26:19:03 – 00:26:23:22
and the foster families where you live,
visit America’s Kids Belong, dawg.

00:26:24:11 – 00:26:27:11
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00:26:35:15 – 00:26:36:11
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00:26:36:11 – 00:26:39:12
Together, we can ensure a family
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00:26:39:17 – 00:26:43:07
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to ensure every foster family feels

00:26:43:07 – 00:26:44:12
love and supported.