How Might Fostering Affect My Life/Family?
Fostering is most definitely going to affect you and your family. Your time, space, and emotions will all be affected and we want you to be realistic about the needs, yet see these youth are worth it!
We believe it is critically important that parents who are preparing to foster be honest and realistic about the journey and the challenges that lie ahead. We encourage you to thoughtfully consider and honestly assess these questions.
A typical week in a foster home will vary based on how many children are in the home, the needs of the youth, and whether it’s a new placement or they are settled. Most places require a foster parent to take a new placement to the doctor within two weeks and the dentist within the first month. Home visits and getting to know the people on the team also take more time with a new placement.
Once a placement is established, these are some things that your schedule will entail:
- Daily Life:
Foster parents need to manage the child’s school schedule, after-school activities, and appointments with therapists or doctors. They also need to establish routines and boundaries to help the child feel secure and to manage their behavior. - Behavior:
Children in foster care may exhibit a range of behaviors, including withdrawal, anger, or defiance, as they adjust to a new home. Foster parents need to be patient and supportive, providing consistent care and understanding. Parenting a youth who is experiencing foster care can often take extra time and attention. - Appointments and Visits:
Foster families often need to attend regular appointments with caseworkers, therapists, or doctors, and may also need to arrange for supervised visits with birth parents. - Weekends:
Weekends may include visits with birth family, family outings, or simply relaxing and spending quality time together. - Documentation:
Foster parents need to keep detailed records of the child’s behavior, medications given, milestones, and any significant events or issues that arise. This helps them to collaborate effectively with caseworkers and the team. - Family Life:
Foster parents need to find ways to integrate the foster child into their family life, while also respecting the child’s individual needs and experiences. They may need to make adjustments to their own routine and schedule to accommodate the child’s needs.
Many adults have gone through hard things and foster care can take you back to tough memories. While it’s important to be in a good place mentally, you may never fully “get over” the things you’ve experienced. If you have past trauma and a history of a hard childhood, it’s strongly suggested that you do the hard work emotionally before you’re ready to care for kids from hard places.
Many wonderful foster parents are those who can relate to things youth are going through. They can often connect with these youth in a way others cannot. However, be sure you’re in the right place yourself before heading down the road of foster care.
In some way, every household member will be affected by foster children entering and leaving the home. Children are especially influenced by the impressions of other people, including peers, neighbors, family, school- mates, and foster siblings. Your family will experience excitement, happiness, sadness, and loss as foster children come into your lives or depart your home. Adding foster children to your home will disrupt the birth-order (rank) of your children. Children who are excited about being a foster brother or sister initially may not be fully prepared for the reality of sharing their space, belongings, and family members with foster children and may become jealous. They will need time to adjust to their new rank as an older/younger sibling. At the same time, your children might (unknowingly) contribute greatly to the healing and encouragement that kids from hard places need. Being able to play and experience fun things with other kids is often a very important component to their healing.
