The Foster Friendly Podcast recently featured an inspiring and powerful conversation with Pam Bauer as part of National Adoption Month. Pam’s a mother of 14 children, 12 of whom were adopted from Russia. Pam has gained lots of insights personally from her own adoptive journey, and also has a wealth of insight gained professionally with her MA in Biblical Counseling. She wrote her thesis on grief in adoption and has researched this space extensively.
In the conversation, Pam candidly shared about the challenges she faced as an adoptive mother, from managing a large household to addressing the unique needs of each child. A critical piece of advice she shared is the importance of open communication and creating a safe space for children to express their feelings surrounding their adoption.
Grief and Loss in Adoption:
One of the key themes Pam discusses in this conversation is the role of grief in adoption. According to Pam, “The journey of adoption is filled with both joy and sorrow.” This tension involves a looking ahead to exciting and hopeful new journeys and adventures, while also holding intact the pain and loss of the past
She highlights the often-overlooked aspect of grief that adopted children experience, drawing powerful parallels to the loss of a loved one. Pam positively reframes the power of grief: “Grief, Pam says, is not something to fear; it’s an opportunity to help children heal.”
Listen to episode here or watch below:
Key Takeaways From the Interview:
- Grief can be an opportunity for attachment and healing.
- Open conversations about adoption are crucial for children’s understanding.
- Children may feel divided loyalties between adoptive and biological parents.
- Rituals can help children process their grief and loss.
- Understanding emotions and body language is essential in parenting adopted children.
- Grief is a lifelong journey that evolves over time.
- Adoptive parents should encourage their children to express their feelings.
- Children need to know they are loved and valued regardless of their background.
- It’s important to recognize the mixed emotions surrounding adoption.
