Takeaways
- The Foster Friendly Podcast celebrates its 100th episode.
- Kristin Allender is joining the podcast as its new cohost.
- Kristin’s experience as an adoptee helped lead her toward a career in social work.
- Her career has included child abuse investigations, adoption work, and leadership within America’s Kids Belong.
- Courtney reflects on the encouragement and practical tools she has gained from the podcast while fostering.
- Listening to different perspectives can help even experienced foster parents continue learning and growing.
- Children must remain the priority in every part of the foster care system.
- Foster families need strong communities of support if they are going to thrive.
- Recruiting foster families without simultaneously building support around them can contribute to burnout and attrition.
- Everyone can play a role in foster care, even if they never become a foster or adoptive parent.
- Businesses can use their unique resources and expertise to remove practical barriers for foster families.
- A Tennessee car dealership helped foster families access larger vehicles so sibling groups could stay together.
- Small acts of community support can create ripple effects far beyond a single family.
- The podcast has worked to elevate the voices of former foster youth and others with lived experience.
- Upcoming episodes will include a series focused on young adults who have aged out of foster care.
- Courtney encourages listeners to continue supporting the podcast as it enters its next chapter.
- Every child deserves to have a voice, to be loved, and to be seen.
TRANSCRIPT:
Travis (00:01.234)
Welcome to the FOSS Friendly Podcast. I’m Travis. I’m joined by my co host, Courtney Williams, and a special guest you’re gonna hear a lot more about today, Kristen Allender. Welcome guys.
Courtney (00:02.248)
Hello.
Kristin Allender (00:14.19)
There.
Travis (00:15.924)
So if you missed the previous episode, Courtney announced she’s stepping down as podcast host and from her time at America’s Kids Belong. So we will mourn that one more time on this podcast. but this is her grand finale, and it wouldn’t be right to not have her included on the the episode that’s celebrating the 100th episode of this podcast, going two plus years. Yep.
Courtney (00:26.435)
Yeah.
Courtney (00:39.579)
crazy.
Kristin Allender (00:41.075)
great, you guys.
Travis (00:42.248)
So we’re excited to have some final thoughts and insights on this episode from Courtney, who also we hope to have a future guest on as a future guest. So, but our newest guest today, who’s never been on the podcast before, and this is exciting, is Kristen Alander, who has been with America’s Kids Belong since twenty sixteen. she’s been tell how when did you start as the Tennessee executive director for Tennessee Kids Belong? What year?
Kristin Allender (01:08.558)
Started that January of twenty sixteen, but I was wearing dual hats at the time, working for America Schitzbowling as
Travis (01:11.549)
wow.
Travis (01:15.27)
Okay. So since 2016, executive director of Tennessee Kids Belong, where Kristen has done some amazing work leading that state, who’s a state affiliate now and one of the flag really the flagship state for the America’s Kids Belong. She’s helped pioneer the foster friendly app, which we talk about, foster friendly communities. Kristen was all over the f leading edge of that. So she’s got so much experience. and she’s gonna tell us more about some of that.
Before we hear more from Kristen and kind of herself, her family, Kristen, tell us do you have a any stories or anything that kind of gives us the listeners a little bit of a window of your time at America’s Kids Belong?
Courtney (01:45.723)
person tell us any stories or anything that of gives us the window of your time.
Kristin Allender (01:55.119)
I mean, it’s been a wild ten years. I have stories for days. Gosh. any given day we were traveling around the country, meeting with governors, sitting in child welfare rooms, you know, discussing the entire ecosystem of foster care, down to helping states learn about the I Belong project and setting up video shoots. And I I can think of one time in in Oklahoma actually where a woman or a young girl
Courtney (01:57.18)
I have stories for days. Any given day we were traveling around the country.
Courtney (02:22.811)
There we go, She’s on verbal.
Kristin Allender (02:24.758)
She was nonverbal and she took off. We were filming at a group home and ran into the middle of a giant pond and the water fountain, and she was wearing all white for some reason, and she started doing this, and all the alarms are going off, and we’re on lockdown, and they have to get a therapy dog to bring her out. And I’m trying to teach them about interviewing kids and mid interview. I’m like, Can we stop? She’s still got a leech in her hair. It’s been
Courtney (02:29.529)
into the middle of the ground. The water comes and it’s all white.
Courtney (02:50.876)
Hahaha!
Kristin Allender (02:53.792)
It’s been a crazy ten years, but so exciting, some of the best of my career.
Courtney (02:54.939)
Wild.
Travis (02:58.868)
That’s a great picture that we can all visualize. and before anything else, I do have to say I don’t think I said this. Kristen is also stepping in as the new podcast host for Corney. I don’t know how I didn’t say that at the beginning, but so that’s a another little news news break here. So
Courtney (03:00.603)
Yeah. Yeah. goodness. Yeah. Well, before we dive into more about you, Kristin, guys sure.
Kristin Allender (03:01.342)
Yeah.
Kristin Allender (03:14.306)
Huge, huge shoot to fill, my goodness.
Courtney (03:25.893)
the end of the summer already, which is crazy. Share your favorite highlight of yours over the summer.
Courtney (03:34.021)
Travis go first.
Travis (03:34.131)
Well, okay. So I just got back from North Dakota. Courtney and I talked about it’s both of our home state, so we we have that in common. and but for me, I it was really special because for a variety of reasons, seeing a lot of family, but I actually did a podcast with my grandparents who are ninety-seven and ninety-six, have been married almost eighty years.
They have stories of talking about riding or going to town and seeing Native Americans riding bareback on horse. they had some marriage advice. And grandpa told us about how he was attracted to grandma down the hallway in high school. I mean, come on now. So yeah.
Courtney (04:12.235)
Wow, that’s special.
Kristin Allender (04:13.35)
Amazing. Wow. summer highlights. I I was fortunate enough to take a very exciting trip with my family, which I’ll tell you more about as we go. but there is something so beautiful about doing an adventure together in a space or place where none of you have been, and the lessons you learn as a family, traveling with teen girls who know have a lot of strong opinions.
Courtney (04:41.743)
you
Kristin Allender (04:42.776)
But just learning things together and watching them having to navigate something brand new in a space we’ve never been in and that that joy that comes from adventure and experiencing somewhere new. So we that trip this summer was very significant for our family and I love watching the kids learn new things in a new space.
Travis (05:01.556)
Very cool.
Courtney (05:01.669)
great. Yeah, for me, we just got back from 10 days camping. We’ve never taken our camper like on a long trip before, but we drove over 2000 miles, went up to Glacier National Park and Teton National Park. And it was just epic. It was so fun. We’ve, we’ve been to Glacier multiple times, but it was fun taking the kids back. haven’t been there for years. And the Tetons are just, they’re mind boggling, like how vast and amazing they are. So it was great trip.
Travis (05:28.532)
Awesome.
Kristin Allender (05:29.304)
Send me your itinerary offline, please.
Courtney (05:31.135)
we did run out of gas once. That was the negative. But thankfully we were on an off ramp and my husband only had to walk like, I don’t know, three quarters of a mile. So yeah, it happens when you haul a camper.
Kristin Allender (05:42.348)
I saw payphones on the side of a road somewhere over the summer and I was like, my gosh, who I forgot that was a thing when you had rent and I said to walk to payphone ’cause cellphones weren’t a thing.
Travis (05:42.452)
That’s cool.
Travis (05:49.755)
Really?
Travis (05:53.747)
Wow. Like just on display I mean, they weren’t usable, I wouldn’t think, or maybe?
Kristin Allender (05:59.033)
I don’t know. It was still there on the side of the road. Drove by too fast to get a picture, but I was shocked. Kids had no idea what it was. Of course. Right.
Travis (06:01.78)
That’s amazing.
That’s super cool. Should be in a museum.
Courtney (06:06.23)
Yeah.
Courtney (06:10.689)
Awesome. Well, as Travis alluded to, Kristin being the new host, the new face, we want to get to know you a little bit. So tell our listeners more about you and your family, what you’re most excited about with your new role as the CEO of AKB, all the stuff. Let us get to know you a little bit.
Kristin Allender (06:28.46)
Well, I I am an adoptee. I was actually adopted at birth and have a wild story of the uncovering of all the things, biofamily over the years, you know, it’s an onion, you’re just unpeeling as you go. but we’ll we’ll save that for another podcast. I went on to become a social worker in college, and what’s wild is I didn’t even know the term social worker. We were very open about adoption, talked about adoption all the time, but I had never heard that term before.
And so my first week of college, one of my orientation leaders was asking us about our majors and we were talking about family. And I said something about being adopted. And she said, So you’re gonna be a social work major? And I was like, What’s that? And she said, I you said you’re adopted, so it’d be cool for you to, you know, match birth moms with adoptive families. And I was like, That’s a job. I’m in. So I went back to my dorm room and I, you know, scrambled through the registration catalog, and I was like,
I’m gonna do this. So I marched into the registrar’s office the next day and I said, Hi, I’m here to change my major. And they said, Why don’t you give college more than a week, sweetie? And I was like, Well, never been more sure of anything, you won’t see me again. And they did not. I went on to become a social worker. but that played out very differently than I anticipated initially. Our careers always do, right? so I went on to do child abuse investigations in Los Angeles County for several years.
And wound up on a task force that did all of the drug raids and child trafficking investigations and were bulletproof us to work many days. It was just very different than I pictured. I loved it. I loved sitting in the space and being able to build rapport with a child who had experienced significant trauma or was very scared because there were police in their home and their parents were being taken away. and
Travis (08:08.756)
Thanks.
Courtney (08:15.035)
sitting in the space and being able to build a form.
Kristin Allender (08:27.126)
establish that trust and get them to say the things that n they needed to say to me so that I could move them to a safe place and get them on a path to healing. So I did that for quite a while, eventually did the private adoptions at a law firm that I thought you know, I’d wanted to do, which was great. a lot of wonderful things, a lot of tender moments with birth moms in hospital rooms. and when I came to Tennessee twel twelve, thirteen years ago, I heard about this group
Courtney (08:29.339)
the things that they need to say to me so that I can include them in the same place. I did that for quite a while.
Kristin Allender (08:57.006)
Called America’s Kids Belong, that was trying to really bring together all sectors, the government, the church, businesses, the creatives around foster care. And I said signed me up and had no idea what I was in for. So that was yeah, a little over ten years ago now. And my family, I’m I’m married. I have two girls, they’re 14 and 15, and they have been
Courtney (09:17.045)
And my family, I’m married, I have two girls who are 14 and 15, and they have been very involved. I’ve lost my parents, and I’m not able to share what I do with them. think they knew it at all, would rightfully just think.
Kristin Allender (09:24.148)
very involved throughout the last ten years and I you know I’m able to share what I do with them. My kids when they were little they would write the sweetest things about their mom’s job and they’re like, I don’t know, dad goes to work. Like but mom helps kids and families. And so yeah, we live in Franklin, Tennessee. And yeah, that’s that’s a little about me.
Courtney (09:35.135)
You
Travis (09:35.774)
Ha ha.
huh.
Courtney (09:49.368)
Awesome. Yeah, I love all the share. It just excites me that you’re taking over as host as I leave because you have just a different viewpoint, a different vantage point than I have. But also, I feel like you have the podcast personality. I don’t have the podcast personality. I’ve got like stories and experiences, but you got like the podcast personality. So I’m super excited for you to. Yeah, for our listeners to get to know you more and your fun personality. So.
Travis (10:10.608)
the
Kristin Allender (10:16.664)
Wow, thank you for this.
Courtney (10:19.247)
Travis, what excites you about Kristin?
Travis (10:21.092)
well don’t undersell your pro you you you you were laughing. We got you yeah, we got you laughing. no you you were you’ve been awesome. I th I feel like we might have a dip in listenership till everyone gets used to your absence, but no, you’ve been you’ve been awesome to to be on this podcast. We really appreciate you. I’m excited with I think you said it well, Courtney, of just you know, Kristen does bring a really unique perspective, both
Kristin Allender (10:32.443)
Mm. Absolutely.
Travis (10:50.034)
You know, I love how you opened it as an adoptee and unpacking and uncovering like in our own story, you know, birth family and kind of the onions, like you said, and kind of from that perspective, then being you know social worker investigating, you know, some of the, you know, tr tragic things, but also you know, the i inspiring nature of that work as well. So that hat, and then to be a leader, you know, on the front lines of Tennessee Kids Belong.
And the amazing work you guys have done there, continue to do there. And then to also now CEO of America’s Kids Belong and taking your experience to a national level. But then then bringing this all also onto a podcast where yeah, you she she definitely’s has has the personality. I’ve told her that a while ago, so it’d be fun.
Courtney (11:19.315)
Yeah, that’s
Kristin Allender (11:41.657)
Well, I’ve got stories for days. I’ll tell you all the things. ‘Cause I could have seen a lot and learned a lot the hard way and done a lot of things that we do differently. But some really, really cool ways that community has been involved. I mean, the name of this podcast alone, like what an honor to be hosting it, co hosting it now. foster friendly is is so dear to me and watching the creative and unique and exciting ways that companies and faith communities and individuals have gotten involved. I mean, we could
Travis (11:43.666)
Well it’s
Travis (11:56.255)
Yeah. Yep. Yeah.
Kristin Allender (12:12.054)
We can have years of content for just the stories alone.
Courtney (12:13.659)
Hmm.
Travis (12:13.854)
Yeah. Yeah. It’s awesome. Yeah, it’s gonna be a fun new chapter. So well, speaking of that, let’s just kind of get into a little celebration of this. This this episode also is we are celebrating our hundredth episode. I believe this is now two years plus since we launched this thing. I if if I want you guys to think of if you could think of a single a well known song title.
Courtney (12:16.186)
Yeah.
Courtney (12:20.955)
Speaking of that, let’s just kind get into a little celebration of this. This episode also is, we are celebrating our 100th episode, believe. is now two years plus.
Courtney (12:34.811)
I want you guys to think of a well-known song title that would serve as the anthem for the first 100 episodes. Do either you guys have a song title?
Travis (12:43.56)
That would serve as the anthem for the first one hundred episodes. Do either of you guys have a song title that comes to mind?
Kristin Allender (12:53.559)
Rony, you go ahead.
Travis (12:53.82)
And why?
Courtney (12:56.01)
Mine would be stand by me. I feel like kind of what Kristin was just saying, you being a foster parent and going through for many years now, having the different people that have come alongside and stood by us as foster parents. And that’s what the Foster Friendly app, the Foster Friendly Communities, it’s all about coming alongside these families. And I feel like throughout the different episodes, when you look through the guests we’ve had, whether it’s business leaders or community people,
Travis (13:00.382)
Nice.
Courtney (13:23.781)
faith leaders, foster parents. It’s like this whole community aspect of standing alongside these kiddos and the families who are caring for them. So that would be mine. And I’m singing it in my head.
Travis (13:34.076)
Go on.
Kristin Allender (13:37.804)
What’s yours, Travis?
Travis (13:39.439)
I’m gonna go. I I was torn. one of them was staying alive by the Bee Gees. I think is that who that we’re just trying to stay alive on this dog eat dog world of podcasts. But also I think I would say welcome to the jungle. And I’m gonna go with Guns N’ Roses on that one because I feel like you know, po the podcast world is a bit of a jungle of like sorting through, finding, you know, what who do you like and who to follow. There’s so much there, but also just the world of foster care in a way.
when I think of a jungle, I think of, you know, there’s sort of like this mystery, like, there’s so many different things and parts and you know, kind of so we’re kind of welcoming you into this space to help shed light on places that a lot of us don’t know about and meet some of who’s involved in this thing. And so yeah. You got anything, Kristen, on this? Hey.
Kristin Allender (14:27.192)
That’s a good one. I think I think mine is probably a little along the lines of Courtney’s and I was thinking about the Beatles, the iconic with a little help from my friends. Talking about it, it really like taking a community. and I think this podcast is a place where we just bring in our friends in this space and get to talk through the authentic real stories, right, that make foster care so beautiful and difficult all in one.
Travis (14:38.292)
that’s a great one.
Courtney (14:38.99)
You
Courtney (14:55.599)
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Travis (14:55.764)
Great, great one.
Kristin Allender (14:58.936)
So as you guys think back, I think Travis, I mean you said it, you guys should be really proud. I mean, this podcast has brought on all sorts of incredible guests, and you guys and Brian have led it so well. what what podcasts as you think about the hundred are you most proud of? Which episodes?
Courtney (15:07.029)
and see you guys in Brian.
Travis (15:21.426)
What are you gonna?
Courtney (15:21.551)
yeah, I selfishly I know I’ve this before, but my episode I got to do with my kids, all three of these, my three favorite episodes would be the one I did with my kiddos. And then two older ladies, Pam Bauer, who talked about the grief and adoption and Judy Wright in her book, Just Hold Me. think all three of those episodes spoke to me as a foster parent who’s tired and a little weary and, you know,
Kristin Allender (15:22.124)
What about the podcast in general? Who you feel really proud of?
Courtney (15:51.664)
I don’t need to get to know foster care type things. They’re fun to do, but that’s not the season that I’m in, but they spoke to me and helped encourage me in the season that I’m in in fostering after many years. And I just love the older perspective of women who are older than me and wiser than me. So hearing from them was, those were my favorite episodes.
Travis (16:11.772)
Those good ones. I mean, so I think you asked a couple questions too of like, what are you most proud of? What did you did you say what you’re most proud of, Court?
Kristin Allender (16:16.793)
Okay. Mm-hmm.
Courtney (16:22.555)
That’s a hard answer. I can’t like narrow it down to something I’m most proud of. But I just think the time and energy put in this space to make a podcast. mean, that may sound silly, but there’s a lot of behind the scenes stuff that I don’t know if people really recognize or know that goes on. And it has been a heart filled production. I mean, something we’ve put a lot of time and energy into and I’m proud that I to be part of it.
Travis (16:52.212)
Well, I would say, first of all, episode wise, hundredth episode, I mean, man, it just I I’ve really enjoyed the host ones, you know, the chemistry, and it’s been fun to be on together. the three of us and Brian was here. but as far as an episode, I mean, you already said Judy Wright. I was gonna say that one re the a recent one that we had. I’m gonna go back to I think last year when it was an extremely powerful one of
Ashley and Ashton. So Ashley was foster or I’m sorry, bio bio mom and her son who was placed into foster care were on together in an episode describing their vantage points of him going into care, what that was like, her being on the other side of getting help. And then the a kind of a back to back episode with Selena, who was the foster mom. So it was this like picture of foster care from all different angles. And on and in it was tear jerking. beautiful.
but also I was struck by in the one with Selena, who again was the foster mom with the biological mom together, Ashley, in this one. And I’ll never forget when Selena shared that it was her husband who was actually the kind of motivator for Ashley to turn her life around. So a message for guys, too, of where, you know, it’s like, Well, where is my place? And you know, sometimes we feel like I just don’t know if I have what it takes. I mean, here was, you know, the foster moms or foster dad.
Courtney (17:52.966)
get the foster mom with the biological mom together. can have one. And I’ll never forget when. So we can assure that we
Travis (18:19.22)
Who who encouraged the buy bu birth mom of her own life and that’s what got her going. So I I’ll never forget that. And like you said, I guess I would just say, like, this thing didn’t exist and now it exists. And it is only built on teamwork and us just figuring it out together with our friends, like Kristen said, like just friends at A K B and man, I’m just so proud of it. So
Courtney (18:20.249)
Yeah.
Kristin Allender (18:42.617)
Yeah. As you both should be. And I think the range of guests you’ve had on there, I mean Travis Yes, exactly. It’s like all perspectives, bringing in people who didn’t think they even had a role in foster care, now here they were, you know, really, really well done. Should be so proud.
Travis (18:59.464)
Yeah, thank you. Yeah. It’s been yeah. Really excited to see where it keeps going. So well, speaking of looking at well done and kind of where things were, Corney, I’m really curious, you know, you’re the only one as far as the hosts are who’s continued to foster during, you know, at least the two years of the show. how how are some ways just as a foster parent, you know, kind of you’ve been touched by this podcast?
Courtney (19:03.259)
Yeah. So, of looking at Well Done and kind of where things were, Courtney, I’m really curious, know, you’re the only one as far as the hosts are who’s continued to foster during at least the two years of the show. How was the way just to foster?
Courtney (19:27.419)
Yeah, I think hearing different perspectives has been great for me. Like I said, we’ve been fostering for 20 years, but we don’t know it all. We don’t have all the answers. And sometimes I’ll go through a training that’s like, I need that, right? And then having a guest on who says something that I kind of forgot about or something that I need to be reminded of over and over and over again. So it has definitely encouraged me to keep going, to take a break when I need to take a break, to find the community and even silly ways of like
we’ll have somebody come up, we have the person that come on from Binti, right? And that might not be the most like heartwarming episode we have, but what they’re doing for foster care. And if we’re able to share that episode with our head of foster care and say, hey, have you ever considered this? I think it just gives us tools too to talk to other people, to make change, systemic changes within foster care when you hear what some state or county or organization is doing that we should have nationwide or could be nationwide.
just give me a lot of tools and opportunities to share it with other people as well.
Kristin Allender (20:30.447)
Awesome. And I love your humble approach of like I’ve been doing this twenty years and yet there’s always gonna be more to learn or more to be reminded of. And that’s a beautiful
Travis (20:33.576)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah.
Courtney (20:39.183)
Yep, for sure.
Courtney (20:45.551)
Well, 100 episodes in, as we’ve mentioned, we’ve talked to foster parents, former foster youth, social workers, foster-friendly businesses, faith leaders, bio-children of foster parents. We’ve discussed all these core issues. What’s one issue that you feel more hopeful about and a systemic barrier that feels more solvable to you today than maybe when we first started this episode or this podcast two years ago? So what’s something that you feel like, hey, there’s some hope and some change here?
Travis (21:19.7)
Kristen’s gotta go last on this one, I feel like. ‘Cause you got the high level of the whole thing. You found out way beyond just the podcast. Corney, what do you got for yours? I’m curious ’cause
Courtney (21:21.339)
She’s gonna have a…
Courtney (21:32.656)
I think it’s interesting and I still would love to see, I know we have an old teammate working on, know, at the very end of every podcast, we’ve been asking what is one thing, what a foster kids need most, right? And that people answer it. And somebody was compiling all these answers and I looked through those a while back and it’s crazy how when you look through those answers, almost all of them are different, but they’re all rooted in the same thing. They’re all rooted in child centered, child focused and
I still feel like that is one thing we get wrong a lot. And if we can make one change and hearing the voices of all these different people saying the same thing, but yet in a different way that we need to focus on the kids and what kids needs need to come first. Their permanency needs to come first, their feelings, their thoughts, their voice, all of that needs to come first. And I hope that this podcast continues to shed a light on that because it needs to be, I don’t think there’s a caseworker, a social worker in this space who’s doing it out of ill will.
But I do feel like even myself, like after a while, my husband and I were just talking about this. You we got a little guy in our care right now. He’s the cutest little two-year-old, right? Easy to love, but also like we’re tired. And sometimes you just kind of forget about what these kids need or what needs to come first. We need to remind ourselves of that. But I think caseworkers, everybody in the system, the equation needs to remind themselves of that constantly.
Travis (22:38.972)
Mm.
Yeah.
Kristin Allender (22:54.703)
Courtney, that’s so good. Can I just add on? I have I have on my computer screen up top it says kids are the priority. Because when you’re especially people working in nonprofit space or, you know, that are on the more back end side of it, it’s like the donors, the the spreadsheets, the budgets, the stress, like all of this stuff that can come first. And it’s like, wait, hold on. Let me make sure that everything we do, the motivation, any you know, decisions that need to be made, the kids are the priority and that they’re what comes first. And so it’s
It needs to be there and it needs to always be our focus in how we talk about the work, how we approach the work, how we approach our time with the work. So yeah, thank you for calling that out.
Travis (23:32.094)
Yeah. Yeah. That’s really good. I would say, and then I really am excited to hear Kristen’s like setting you up for just that
Courtney (23:32.251)
Yeah. Yeah.
Courtney (23:42.762)
I’m to laugh.
Kristin Allender (23:43.171)
Like what a da da
Travis (23:46.349)
the I used to deal with Courtney a lot too, so I just be like, I mean it though. But I I would say, you know, I think there used to be a saying way back well, when I say way back, I I don’t know. I’m just gonna take a stab. I come came on at twenty I think I was on the team in twenty seventeen. I think you’d hear this a lot in churches, you’d see it in social media, you know, the whole thing of like if one in three churches had just one family that would was it foster or or adopt I one of the two, I d I don’t know.
Kristin Allender (23:50.295)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (24:15.956)
You know, there’d be no waiting children or or there’d be foster care numbers would be cut down to, you know. And I think while things like that are great mantras of like how solvable in a way this can be, I think that the shift, and you’ll I’ve I know Brian Mavis has said this, but pushes against that, where it’s like, what we don’t want to see are all these churches, you know, and in this case we’re talking faith communities.
where, you know, unsupported families are sort of like, well be the one that steps and the church hasn’t created a culture to support them. And then it’s just like, okay, well you’re probably not going to last because the attrition is so high and foster families that aren’t supported. And Courtney you’ve done such an excellent job in your own life and story to continually say how much support you need when everyone looks at you as the legend and you’re like, Yeah, but it wouldn’t be f well first you would say, No, I’m not. But secondly
Courtney (25:06.651)
when everyone looks at you as a legend and they’re like, yeah, but at first you say, I’m not. know, I’m only able to flip you with me, So I’m really excited about, I think, this idea that, I mean, you know, it’s about support for the fans. if Chris, my gosh, brand, Chris and one time had a quarrel, and I always talk to him, like, you said one time, we’re…
Travis (25:13.256)
You know, I’m only able to still do this, me and Bobby, because of, you know, our community. So I’m really excited about I think this idea that I mean, no, it’s about maybe it’s about support for the families. And if cr my gosh, I’m bringing this full circle to Kristen. Kristen one time had a quote, and I it’s always stuck with me of like, you said one time we’re we’re irrespon I’m something like we’re irresponsible to be recruiting families who aren’t supported. And I was like,
You nailed it. So that thing of really supporting families better with foster friendly communities all that. Anyway, that’s all I say now.
Courtney (25:50.56)
Yeah, so true. Yep.
Kristin Allender (25:52.408)
Yeah. Fully, fully feel that way. And I say that a lot. And it you know, it’s weird that it can be controversial. And I think Travis, what you said, you know, is controversial in some spaces like, no, it’s if every church stepped up and and I completely agree. It’s like, but actually if a few stepped up and it became part of their culture so that all those families were supported, that completely changes things. Right. So yes, it’s irresponsible of us to just go recruit families without simultaneously recruiting that support for them or helping them build that community around them.
Courtney (26:12.142)
Yep.
Kristin Allender (26:21.555)
okay, what did I what do I feel hopeful about that feels more solvable today than it did two years ago?
I would say I everyone talks about the the line, everybody can do something, right? And it’s been an A K B mantra for forever. And I truly believe that to my core. And I don’t know if historically everyone has felt like they know what that something is or that there have been clear on ramps to that something.
Courtney (26:35.643)
I don’t know if…
Kristin Allender (26:59.533)
Right, unless it’s gonna be foster care adoption, they’re like, I don’t know, money, do you know? and I think that there is a movement happening and around building foster friendly communities as a whole, obviously that’s our work, but there are so many organizations that are saying we wanna activate these communities and really give everyone a role to play that’s clear and on ramps to do that. So whether that’s wrapping around the foster family directly, whether that’s getting your business involved, you know, we meet
Courtney (27:24.699)
And think that our awareness can happen.
Kristin Allender (27:28.143)
quilters who are making quilts for kids. I mean, it’s like all of these people of all walks of life finding their something. And I think the more awareness that happens and the more on ramps that are offered that are clear and kind of make that light bulb go off of like, I didn’t think that my vocation had anything to do with foster care. I have a s meeting this week with the owner of a car dealership and it’s one of my favorite stories, but he
Courtney (27:40.7)
Yeah.
Kristin Allender (27:57.935)
Well, t maybe I’ll just tell it. Maybe I’ll just tell it right now. So he we were seeing the need. A foster family’s needing a bigger car to take in sibling groups, right? And my background investigations, I remember middle of the night driving with groups of siblings, just gripping my steering wheel, praying that I’m gonna find a place to keep them all together because the last thing I want to do is see them separated. I just I witnessed what occurred when they had to be removed from their home. And they’re terrified. And so
Travis (28:00.284)
Let’s do it.
Courtney (28:22.363)
Hmm.
Kristin Allender (28:26.542)
Keeping siblings together feels extremely important to me. And foster parents transportation became an issue if they didn’t have a big enough fan and you know, they needed to take them to the doctor the next day and they couldn’t fit all the kids in their car because they had bio kids at home too. And so it was our goal to get a business or a car dealership to become foster friendly. And we got excited, we were all trying our team in Tennessee, and I found myself at a dinner with the owner of a Nissan dealership. Okay.
And I’m like, I’m going in. I’m going in. And he thinks I’m gonna ask him for money. And while we need money, pause, AKB needs to be supported. Consider donating below. I don’t know where below is. while we need money, there was another way for him to be involved. So I went in with my pitch and I was so excited and you know, told him all of that and said, if you could give a discount to foster parents who are buying a bigger car so that they can take in more kids or sibling groups, that would be amazing.
Courtney (28:56.379)
So, you can come to ask for money and while we need money, take a look at this recording.
Travis (29:04.82)
Yeah.
Kristin Allender (29:24.004)
And he looked at and he was like, That’s easy. What else? When else is transportation a barrier for foster families? And it really just took me back and I think back to foster friendly as a whole. Like that was a pivotal moment because I realized he knows way more about his business than I do. I’m not in the car industry. He said, I said, Some of these families need like a twelve passenger van, but they’re not gonna go buy that because they’re not gonna need it forever. But they might need it for a week or two, you know, for an emergency placement.
And he said, We have a rental fleet of twelve passenger vans. Anytime a foster parent needs it, they can have it for free for a month.
I mean, I would have had no idea that that existed, right? So foster families flooded that Nissan dealership. they were working with him, they were buying bigger cars, they were using those rental vans, they bought the entire rental fleet out. The foster parents did. And eventually Nissan stopped making those twelve passenger vans. And so literally his team to this day, that was years ago, is still outsourcing and finding vans across the country for families and then delivering them to these foster parents in Tennessee.
Courtney (30:14.659)
Yeah.
Travis (30:16.66)
Well.
Travis (30:28.276)
Wow.
Kristin Allender (30:30.404)
And he says, I used to sit in church all the time. Like, and it’s no knock on foster care. I have my own causes that I’m passionate about. We’re not gonna become foster parents. So I’d kinda glaze over, like, it’s foster parent adoption Sunday. I had no idea that I as a car guy played a role in this. And I looked at him and I said, You as a car guy have kept siblings together, brothers and sisters on the scariest day of their little lives were in the same home because you as a car guy had a vision and made it happen. And he’s like
Courtney (30:30.747)
And he says, I used to sit in church all the time. And it’s no, not for foster care. I have my own causes that I’m passionate about. We’re not going to become those. I kind of blaze over. it’s foster care and adoption someday. I had no idea that I was a car guy. And I looked at him and I said, you as a car guy have kept siblings together, brothers and sisters, the scariest day of their little lives. We’re in the same home because you as a car guy had a business and made it happen. Wow.
Travis (30:37.044)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Travis (30:58.343)
man.
Kristin Allender (30:59.274)
You know, and now that dealership has inspired other dealerships and we’re working you know, it the ripple effect and who knows how many brothers and sisters in other states have been able to stay together because other dealerships have caught on to this and done the same thing. We’ll never know, and isn’t that the beauty of it?
Courtney (30:59.894)
You
It’s the rip.
Courtney (31:15.319)
Yeah, it’s inspiring. The car guy and the other I have the 12, the Nissan 12 passenger van. It’s the best van. I wish I still made it. I’m kind of bummed, but yeah, but it is. Yeah.
Travis (31:17.588)
Dang. Yeah. That gave me chills when you yeah. Yeah. Go.
Kristin Allender (31:20.112)
Shout out to Nissan of Cool Springs, thank you for all your support.
Kristin Allender (31:27.024)
You change.
Travis (31:30.58)
Man, I didn’t know they didn’t.
Kristin Allender (31:30.778)
I’ll let him know.
Travis (31:33.544)
That’s an amazing story. It’s
Courtney (31:34.937)
That is, yeah.
Kristin Allender (31:36.496)
But it is like how many other car guys and how many other industries can we tap into where they help solve these small barriers that mean all the world to the kids and these families? And it’s so simple for their their company, you know? Gets me so excited.
Courtney (31:45.391)
Mm-hmm.
Courtney (31:49.391)
Yep. Oftentimes people just don’t know.
Travis (31:52.083)
Well, and I think yeah. And I think what’s so striking in that story to me is is you’re able to also like tell like not not just from a general standpoint of, you know, you help the family transport. I mean, you said like this helped these kids stay to get do you realize like the work I mean, when people hear that, it’s like it it’s a big deal.
Kristin Allender (32:09.104)
Hatch out. Yeah.
Courtney (32:12.697)
Yeah.
Travis (32:14.056)
Wow. So well yes, okay. Okay.
Courtney (32:17.307)
Travis, I got a question for you. Yeah, just thinking, you know, being my 100th episode, my last episode, Kristin coming on as co-host, where is the podcast going? What’s coming up? What can people, our listeners get excited about?
Travis (32:34.214)
Okay, well, I’m glad you asked.
So I well, and I’m gonna say this, I have to shout out Courtney final time in even that question is that you know, we said this in the previous episode, but or 99, whatever that I don’t know, was it the 99th episode we talked about? Was your episode, right? But so much of this podcast too, like Courtney’s fingerprints are all over like, you know, thematically and you know, obviously a lot of the guests and then writing a lot of the questions and stuff like that for interviews.
But you you helped kind of set up some of the even the remaining schedule for the year. And so while that may pivot on some of them or whatever, what we do know is the aging out series is coming out, coming up soon. And that’s really gonna feature four episodes or yeah, potentially four episodes of former foster youth who have aged out telling some of their stories, what they’ve gone through, some of the barriers, some of you know, all of that.
And then kind of the incredible things that they’re doing with their lives as a result. and so I think it’s gonna be powerful, not just from an inspiring standpoint, of like look at where they’ve come, but I think they’re also gonna speak to prospective foster parents and current foster parents on advice and tips and like, hey, I know like you might face this with your kids, but hang in there because you know, this is what I really meant when I was acting out or some of that kind of stuff. So I’m really
Courtney (33:39.676)
So I think it’s going to be powerful, not just from an inspiring standpoint of like, look at where they come, but I think they’re also going to speak to prospective foster parents and current foster parents on advice and tips and like, hey, I know like you might face this with your kids, hang in there because you know, this is what I really meant when I was acting out, some of that kind of stuff. So I’m really, that’s one of the things I think we’ve taken a lot of pride in on podcast is we’ve really elevated the voices of former fathers.
Travis (34:02.994)
That’s one of the things that I think we’ve taken a lot of pride in in this podcast is we’ve really elevated the voices of former foster youth with their experience on the front lines and and living the system out. they have a lot to tell us and teach us. And so yeah, we’ve we’ve really honored that and that. So that and then we’ll have following that adoption awareness month featuring, you know, stories from that as well. So I’m really excited to talk to Kristen more about some of her ideas on that as well for that.
Courtney (34:09.957)
that they’re experiencing the front lines and leaving the system out. They have a lot to tell us and teach us. And so yeah, we can go on with that. So that and then we’ll have following that adoption awareness month featuring stories from that as well. So I’m really excited to talk to Kristin more about some of her ideas on that.
Travis (34:32.71)
So yeah.
Courtney (34:34.403)
I love it. I’ve really enjoyed the series that we’ve done when we’ve done some related podcast episodes in a row. feel like it gives kind of a bigger picture of something that we can go deep on. So I’m excited for you guys to do that.
Travis (34:46.568)
Yeah. Well, since it’s your final one, do you have any more questions or you just want to throw anything out there or
Kristin Allender (34:48.429)
One hundred
Courtney (34:51.163)
That was it for me.
Travis (34:55.636)
All right. Well do you have any final words as you send us all off?
Courtney (35:00.827)
No, I just want to say thanks to our listeners. mean, to make it to 100 episodes is, yeah, it’s encouraging. It’s uplifting. The whole K-love, what’s it? Positive, encouraging. My kids say it all the time. It’s like a little joke in our family, the K-love little slogan. But I do thank our listeners for inviting us in. Whether you’re listening as you cook dinner or in your long car rides transporting kids back and forth, your walks that you get alone, whatever it might be, thanks for inviting us in for 100 episodes.
Whether you’re a new listener, a long time listener, I just encourage you to keep listening. The show will go on and super excited about where it’s going. Yes, it’s my last episode, but I hope that again, that people continue to listen. And I believe that if you’re listening, you do believe that every child deserves a voice, deserves to be loved, to be seen. And that’s what we are bringing forth at this podcast. So keep listening and you guys keep doing what you’re doing.
Kristin Allender (35:54.417)
Thank you so much, Courtney. Well done. Well done. Big shoes to fill.
Travis (35:57.404)
Yeah.
Courtney (35:58.523)
It’s been fun.
Travis (36:00.936)
Yeah. Well great closing words, thanks.
Courtney (36:03.727)
Yeah.
