- Valerie is the driving force in their household.
- Fostering involves taking risks for the sake of children.
- Every yes to something means a no to something else.
- Horses teach us about beauty and unpredictability, similar to parenting.
- The couple went from zero to four children in under a year.
- Chaos in a large family can lead to happiness and bonding.
- Their children learned compassion through welcoming foster kids.
- The dynamics of fostering can be complex, especially with biological children.
- It’s important to remember the trauma that foster kids have experienced.
- Creating a stable environment helps foster kids feel secure. Foster care requires community support and advocacy.
- Fundraising events can significantly impact foster care initiatives.
- Corporate support is crucial for fostering awareness and funding.
- Faith communities have a unique opportunity to engage in foster care.
- Normalizing foster care can encourage more families to participate.
- Building relationships is essential for successful foster care outcomes.
- Awareness is as important as recruiting new foster families.
- Foster care impacts various societal issues, including homelessness and mental health.
- Every individual can contribute to foster care in meaningful ways.
- The journey of fostering can be rewarding despite its challenges.
TRANSCRIPT:
Brian (00:01.71)
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Foster Friendly Podcast. I’m your host, Brian, with my hulkish co-host, Travis. And Travis, do you understand the reference?
Travis (00:10.072)
Mmm.
No, I mean, everyone’s like a giant Scrabble game word, and I have no idea what that… Okay. Oh, Hulk it! Okay, okay, I was… I… Okay. Brother? Okay.
Brian (00:17.388)
So no, no, so it was from a text that you sent me earlier. H-U-L-K, uh-huh.
Yeah, so yeah, not Hulk the monster, but the wrestler Hulk Hogan. huh. Yes. Yeah, brother. All right. So Travis is joining me today because Courtney was supposed to be on, but had a last second. It’s supposed to head off to a vacation tomorrow. It all is falling apart. So Travis is jumping on while Courtney is saving the day.
Travis (00:30.658)
Hulk Hogan. Yes, yes, okay. Brother!
Brian (00:54.958)
for her family out there. And that phrase, by the way, just last night, my wife was visiting our grandkids and we have lots. And our little three-year-old one was wearing a Spider-Man outfit. he’s not three, he’s two. And he was called to dinner and he said, I can’t come, I’m saving the day. And so that’s our thing. Speaking of saving the day, we have our guest with us, Greg and Valerie.
Travis (01:19.0)
Ha ha ha.
Brian (01:24.566)
And Greg and Valerie, they have known them for a few years. They’ve been made a huge impact with work done in kids and foster care, both personally, but also throughout their community and state in Kentucky. So Greg and Valerie, welcome.
Greg & Valerie (01:41.423)
Thanks for having us. Thank you. This is great.
Brian (01:43.374)
I would love to introduce a little bit more about your guys’s where you are today in your lives and what life is like at home. So yeah, once you do that, tell us, tell us like what does this little snapshot of your household look like in today’s in today’s world?
Greg & Valerie (02:06.319)
Well, the reality is that the CEO of the household is Valerie. She makes everything happen and we are partners in our careers and professional life, but it’s her, what she does to be committed to our kids and the family unit is a huge blessing for me as a husband, but we do it together. And so my success is her success. And it all happens because she’s truly CEO of our four walls and our four kids.
Travis (02:09.378)
Ha ha.
Brian (02:10.967)
Yes.
Greg & Valerie (02:35.375)
So do you want to share what you deal with every day? Which I would not trade anyway. I would not trade.
Travis (02:37.56)
Ha
Brian (02:39.096)
So, all right, so Valerie, how is Greg doing as your employee?
Greg & Valerie (02:47.439)
Oh, he’s out of office a lot. He’s not at home very much. It’s like a 360 review of the house. It works well. His job is very demanding. So it’s a blessing that I get to stay home and manage everything else. And that’s all I ever prayed for. And I’m right where I want to be.
Travis (02:48.783)
After
Travis (02:52.706)
Ha ha!
Brian (02:52.864)
Hahaha
Yes, yes.
Brian (03:02.857)
You
Greg & Valerie (03:12.975)
hurting all these kids and now they’re all young adults. I shouldn’t say kids, but we went from having little ones to now they’re almost one foot out the door. teenagers have been really fun experience. So that’s where in the thick of it right now.
Brian (03:27.148)
Okay, so four teenagers, two boys, two girls, right?
Greg & Valerie (03:29.851)
Yes, 15, 16, 18, 20, almost 22. So we are adoptive parents and we have two sibling groups of two. So the older two are brother, sister, and the younger two are brother, sister. But the four of them truly, they’re the fab four. mean, they’re brothers.
Brian (03:38.925)
Uh-huh.
Travis (03:39.394)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (03:43.169)
Wow.
Brian (03:50.702)
Aww. The fab four, making good music together.
Travis (03:52.268)
Ha ha.
Greg & Valerie (03:54.413)
So it’s So my, my engineering practice here in Kentucky takes me a lot of different States and I have eight offices and it’s taxing, but, you gotta find the time to juggle it all. And, sometimes I feel like I’m everywhere and nowhere, but at the end of the day, we have a really good setup for managing and planning that out to ensure that I’m, I’m where I need to be every minute of my day. I’m exactly where I need to be. And I.
Travis (03:56.76)
Ha ha ha.
Greg & Valerie (04:24.375)
I’ve been living up to a quote that Valerie told me about a year and a half ago is basically, know, every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else. And I think you got that probably from another podcast. She’s listed a lot of podcasts. And I think about that almost every day. Every time I say yes, I’m saying no to something else. So really good centering and focusing. Where do I need to be?
Brian (04:42.542)
Mm.
Brian (04:47.842)
Very wise, wise words. So speaking of wise words, we’re do a little icebreaker here and it’s, you guys live in Kentucky, it’s Derby Week during this podcast. And it just so happens that a couple days ago, if people were looking at my social media posts back when I posted this, a couple days ago, I was with some horses as well. And it was kind of an equi-therapy experience.
Greg & Valerie (04:59.555)
Yeah.
Brian (05:16.95)
And so curious your guys’s experience with horses out there in Kentucky and Derby week. I’d to know, do you have any horse experience and what have you learned from horses that applies to parenting, raising kids, you’re paying attention to yourself, anything there or are we just going to strike out on this question?
Greg & Valerie (05:40.591)
It’s cerebral and fun at the same time. you have something? No, go ahead. We’ve gone horseback riding adventures. Some of our kids have had lessons. And I think we’ve always enjoyed our time with horses. but I try to steer clear after the lessons because it’s an expensive hobby. Time and land and yeah.
Travis (05:40.897)
No.
Travis (05:44.908)
Nah.
Brian (06:02.036)
right, yeah, yes, yes, the money pet hobby.
Travis (06:02.23)
Yeah, this is true.
Hahaha
Greg & Valerie (06:09.315)
So I think we’ve enjoyed them from afar, but. Yeah, I think I got to be careful what I say. I think horses are a blend of beauty, majesty, power, total. They could be totally, what do you call it? Spontaneous in their action. And there’s a lot of human, human nature, human qualities to that that.
Travis (06:12.141)
haha
Brian (06:22.776)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (06:28.866)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (06:36.651)
Sometimes what’s on the outside isn’t actually what’s going on in the inside a lot of horses, you know, you can’t train them You can’t They got a problem. They got a gate. They’ve got a Something with how they trot or how they run or their timings off or they kick or you can’t saddle them But they all you know, all horses are beautiful and all horses really have an amazing brilliance to them But like people we all have something we’re working on
Brian (06:41.656)
Mm.
Brian (06:58.228)
Yes, yes.
Travis (07:05.73)
Sure.
Brian (07:05.934)
Yeah, and boy are they unique. Yeah, like I said, from one horse to the next, have to really be paying attention to that specific horse.
Travis (07:08.245)
Yeah.
Greg & Valerie (07:16.141)
completely and you wouldn’t know until you really get on and try to engage. It’s close like again.
Travis (07:19.512)
This is true.
Brian (07:20.3)
Yeah, so that’s also true of kids and parenting. yes, it’s like, wow, each kid is, he can’t, yeah.
Greg & Valerie (07:25.45)
Right, exactly.
Greg & Valerie (07:29.837)
And you don’t know until, I mean, you just, you can’t judge a horse by its cover, I guess, right? Just like a human.
Brian (07:35.223)
huh, huh. Way to mix metaphors there. Beautiful. Alright. Okay, so let’s dig a little bit further into your guys’ life. Travis, what do you, what should we ask them?
Travis (07:35.608)
haha
Travis (07:39.059)
Ahaha!
Travis (07:48.652)
Well, so you’ve already kind of kicked off a little bit about your family, but yeah, I’d love to hear more from you guys just on, you know, kind of adoption from foster care. Where did that whole Genesis beginning your story with, you know, looking for seeing that show up in your life.
Greg & Valerie (08:03.011)
Yeah, so I think it happened, we’d been married several years and we were having a hard time having biological children. And we thought, well, in the meantime, while we’re still working on that, let’s look into adopting some kiddos. Our local adoption agency in Louisville, St. Joseph’s Children’s Home, has been around for over 100 years.
and they always have a summer picnic. And so it’s a big deal, know, hundreds and thousands of people come out to this picnic and like, let’s go and just check it out. And we had no intention of really, you know, getting serious too quickly, but we were there and they had a booth to sign up to be foster parents. And we said, sure, why not? So we did that. you know, before we knew it, a couple of weeks later, we’re taking classes. So I don’t know if you want to add anything more to that. I think it was the moment we decided to sign our name.
on that line is when it all started. And it’s kind of like the ship left the station and we never looked back. We definitely, we definitely throughout our journey, even before we had our first placement questioned and we’re nervous and can we really do this? And challenged, is this the right move? All that stuff. But the why and our compass pointed north the whole way through just that we wanted to.
Brian (09:01.034)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (09:24.131)
We had so much to give and so much to offer that we’re willing to take the risk. And I think fostering is all about risk and people’s threshold for risk. We don’t like to use that word because it sounds like it’s transactionalizing it, but it’s true. Everyone’s looking at risk and weighing that for their families themselves. So we, that’s kind how we started. Yeah. And once we were licensed and we got through the training, it was about a year before we actually took a placement because it is a big choice. And we were, you know, scared or nervous about.
Brian (09:36.728)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (09:52.824)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (09:53.485)
what was going to happen. so Greg pushed for an older sibling group that they were seven and 10. And I was, you I didn’t know what to think and had no idea. And finally we just said yes. And that’s our oldest two that we ended up adopting. And then 11 months later, our younger two were five and six came through the door and everyone thought we were crazy because we went from zero to four and less than four. And we probably were a little bit crazy.
Brian (10:08.472)
Wow.
Brian (10:17.346)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Travis (10:18.804)
Wow.
Greg & Valerie (10:20.975)
But it really the younger two coming in brought the older two, know closer to us and just just unified our whole family It just really it was it was God’s plan for sure. So So many other stories in between there, but that’s that’s the kind of high level
Brian (10:38.606)
So when was that? Like how long ago? Okay, so 11 years ago and you go from a family of two to a family of six within a year. Wow.
Greg & Valerie (10:42.383)
2014.
Travis (10:43.736)
2014.
Greg & Valerie (10:51.233)
Yeah, that’s right. then within four to five, three to four years in total, starting our foster journey, we were almost family of eight, two or three more times. Yeah. There were placements that we had that were either emergency placements or they were true placements that were going to turn into adoptive potential, but didn’t work out. that’s a whole other conversation we could have.
Travis (10:52.172)
That’s wild.
Brian (11:06.519)
Wow.
Travis (11:06.924)
Okay.
Travis (11:19.298)
Huh.
Greg & Valerie (11:20.387)
So that was going to be a thing. And we’ve just decided at some point that our journey was to really focus on our Fab Four and being all in on them and then figuring out ways to advocate. Because we had been, we found ourselves mentoring and guiding other couples to consider the really complex nature of foster care. we just thought, you know, there’s a multiplier effect that we really should, let’s focus on our four. Let’s do multiplier effect, advocacy, and respite.
Travis (11:35.288)
Hmm.
Greg & Valerie (11:50.169)
where and when we need to.
Brian (11:51.874)
Yeah, definitely want to look at the multiplier effect before. But before we do, I want to pack a little bit more just about your guys’s own personal journey. So you’ve got two sibling groups that you’ve come into your life and you’re continuing to foster. So just unpack that a little bit more. Like what was it like where you you’ve got four of the kids, two sibling groups moving more and more towards permanency in your own home than you’ve got other kids coming in your life?
Travis (11:52.344)
I love that.
Travis (12:08.952)
Thanks
Brian (12:22.094)
Tell us about that season.
Greg & Valerie (12:25.039)
Yeah, it was pretty hairy for a while. you know, just to put it lightly and not having our own children, there was that we felt, you know, a need to to create our own family, if you want to say it that way. But once we got to the point where we knew these four were going to stay with us and they were leading towards adoption, it made it easier for us to say yes to other kids because it
Brian (12:27.73)
Hahaha
Travis (12:28.439)
Hahaha… Yeah.
Brian (12:34.39)
Ahem.
Greg & Valerie (12:53.963)
It wasn’t as scary and we knew we had so much love to give and we saw the effects that it had on our four that we just felt like we had to say yes to everyone who asked. And I think the happiest moments were when we look back and there’s a house full of eight to 10 kids and it’s just mass chaos. I look back and those are the most happiest memories because everyone is in a safe place and being cared for and just loving each other and
Brian (12:53.975)
Hmm.
Travis (13:12.816)
Ha
Greg & Valerie (13:22.499)
Just there’s a lot of happiness in the messiness and we just really get a lot of that. So yeah, the more kids together that have shared trauma or even shared negative experiences. And a lot of them couldn’t even articulate their own trauma or their own issue, but they realized they’re not alone and they can kind of, they’re not judged or they’re not different. And I think that’s what made our home, I think, comfortable for a while.
Brian (13:25.41)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (13:25.996)
Yeah.
Brian (13:32.206)
Mm.
Brian (13:36.194)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Travis (13:36.78)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (13:41.654)
Hmm
Travis (13:49.89)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (13:49.901)
And our four kiddos got to be really good at being welcoming and understanding. helped them process their trauma a little bit or their situation because we would have these pep talks before, okay, we’re going to get another placement. You know, here’s what’s happening and you know, we need to be sensitive to this or that because these kids have this going on. And so it kind of made them get outside themselves and you know, have compassion for other children too. So I think it just really helped them adjust a
Travis (14:13.793)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (14:19.779)
without putting burden on them to be like, like we are the foster parents. We just didn’t want them to be kids, but you know, you’re, there are teenage, there are teenagers that at that point going into teenage years, it was good for us.
Travis (14:23.725)
Right.
Brian (14:24.545)
Right.
Travis (14:34.476)
Yeah, I was going to just, that really resonated with my own personal experience of being a house parent, a group home where when you said chaos, this picture of like sometimes, yeah, six to eight kids in there and just that feeling of like, everyone’s having a good time most of the time, but it’s pretty wild and stuff like that. And to see that they did have their peers who they’re sort of ambassadors to even like foster care, like, Hey, we’re in here. And like, there was something about them being able to kind of help each other with that. was pretty cool. So.
Greg & Valerie (15:00.205)
Yeah, we get asked a lot about from couples who have kids of their own, their own biological children wanting to consider foster care and asking about that. And it’s an impossible question to answer from our perspective because you have to look at the dynamics, the ages and the are their kids ready? Kids are generally selfish. They want to see what’s in it for me and how this is less time for mom and dad. And
Brian (15:18.648)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (15:25.026)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (15:29.891)
So everyone needs to weigh that. Those who are considering with their own biological children, it’s very common thing to consider and it can be done and you have to weigh that and the types of placements you get. We just found that it actually brought more joy to the home. Brought a lot of challenges, but by and large it was a healthy thing to have kids in the home.
Brian (15:52.59)
Yeah, that’s with our interviews. Some of our most popular ones are those sibling ones where we interview other kids and like, what’s it like? And I didn’t know that this is where our conversation would go, but I really appreciate that we’re landing here for a little bit. And I saw a quote just a few days ago. It said the best thing you can give a kid is our
brothers and sisters. whether that’s permanent or even temporary, there is, you again, in the foster care community, there are these kids in foster care do refer, many of them do refer to these other foster families as a kind of family, know, foster brothers and foster sisters. What would your, I mean, I know you’re speaking for them and you want to be cautious about it. What would you say?
Greg & Valerie (16:22.991)
Hmm.
Brian (16:50.382)
It was like for your own kids, the four that you’ve adopted, when they were having other kids come into their life, was there sensitive jealousy, envy, insecurity of like, how come they’re not staying or unpack that a little bit.
Greg & Valerie (17:12.335)
That’s a good question. think if you ask all four of them that question, you’d probably get slightly different answers. But by and large, I think they all look back on it like they were helping to. I there isn’t a need to want to help in some way. I don’t think in the moment they thought they were helping. think
Brian (17:25.388)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Travis (17:25.431)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (17:29.612)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (17:33.039)
They would make welcome signs and you know do up the extra bedrooms really nicely and you know put their stuffed animals They were just really girls with other girls hair. I Think they look back on it fondly. I don’t think they were burdened by it. I don’t think it was a Cross or a chain that that was waiting them down. I think they looked at it as Hey, we’re benefiting right beat we were foster kids and now we’re getting adopted these other kids don’t have a home so
Brian (17:35.949)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (17:41.56)
Hmm.
Travis (17:47.339)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (17:53.75)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (17:57.614)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (18:02.191)
We got a nice house. got a lot. We got to do a lot of fun things. We got this big yard. And they probably thought if mom’s busy with those two new kids, then we can get away with this over here. I don’t think that they looked at it. Our kids did not look at it as an erosion of our attention. No. I feel like. think especially since I’m stay at home mom and you know, no one was being left out at any time because I was there constantly. So I think that’s a huge.
Travis (18:08.44)
Okay.
That’s right.
Brian (18:30.808)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (18:31.631)
I think it’s all, it’s largely positive memories. So I think the ones that were hardest were the ones that we thought we were going to adopt. And so that just changes your, it’s different if it’s emergency placement and you know, they’re going to be there for a week and it’s popcorn and pancakes and movies. And, and it’s all great to the hardships of beyond a week into months. And you go into a year of like, maybe you’re adopted and then they’re pulled back. That’s hard.
Brian (18:35.361)
Yeah.
Brian (18:40.128)
Hmm.
Brian (18:43.778)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (18:59.727)
And that changes the mindset for the kids too. And that’s not fair to them to have to process that. But they’re resilient. And I think we talk about those kids all the time. This week. And they have, therefore, they fall back on each other a lot to, know, process that, I think. And we do keep all the kids we’ve ever had walk through our door. We have a picture of them on our wall. So we always pray for them and yeah, so I think that helps.
Brian (19:18.328)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (19:23.106)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Travis (19:26.392)
That’s cool.
Brian (19:28.492)
That’s great. I love that.
Travis (19:30.104)
Yeah.
Greg & Valerie (19:32.015)
You have to remember what these other kids are going through. They’re hardened and they’re hurt. Especially those who have been in the system for a while. And they’re more scared than we are. We have stability. I our family unit is stable. So whatever we’re fearful of doesn’t pale in comparison to theirs. And the kids come, you know, they’re just going to challenge that you don’t love me.
Brian (19:47.438)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (19:51.138)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (19:55.446)
Right.
Greg & Valerie (20:00.943)
You know, I’m going to challenge and make sure you don’t love me. And our kids have the ability with us to kind of reinforce that there’s stability and we’ve got rules in the house. And we do, there’s rules, but we have to do too. So.
Travis (20:01.176)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (20:07.703)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm
Brian (20:17.462)
Yeah. Well, you guys have a powerful personal story and we could spend the rest of the time just unpacking that. But I wanted to focus on what you guys have done that’s even beyond your own household. And so, you know, I picture you guys like a rock tossed into a pond. make it. You’re making a splash. But I want to focus on the ripples that have happened and what you’ve done there. So you guys have a really full life. You have four kids. You’ve been fostering.
Travis (20:17.685)
true. Yeah.
Brian (20:46.88)
On top of that, you have a that you own, but you’ve dedicated a lot more time and energy to have an outsized impact. tell us why. I mean, why have you decided like, hey, let’s go beyond our family and be advocates?
Greg & Valerie (21:11.139)
I think it’s important. One thing that just pops into my brain is that when we were doing all of this foster care and our social circles, family circles was something no one had ever done before. And so we were literally going out and just, you know, making this path that we didn’t know anything about. Our family didn’t know anything about. And so we really didn’t receive a lot of help per se. Like we didn’t have it just there wasn’t we were doing it all on our own. And so
Brian (21:33.464)
Hmm.
Travis (21:37.144)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (21:38.072)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (21:39.011)
going forward now, I want to share any kind of tips or tricks or hacks that I can with any foster families. I want to try and give them wraparound support. Because you have eight kids in the house when you’re used to not having any, you need help with meals and any kind of little support kind of just gives you that morale boost to just keep going and keep doing it. And I think that’s important because we need foster families to keep saying yes.
Travis (21:53.176)
All right.
Brian (21:56.3)
Yeah.
Brian (22:02.732)
Okay.
Travis (22:06.594)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (22:06.648)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (22:06.991)
A lot of them get overwhelmed with, you know, some cases sometimes, or they don’t feel like they’re supported and they leave. But we just need people to keep saying yes. Because we can’t do it all. You know? Well, honestly, it was starting to feel we had, after, I don’t know, 30, 34, 35 kids, it started to feel like, gosh, we’re not making it. Like, we’re not even moving the needle. This is work. It is work. It’s rewarding work, but it seems like
Travis (22:16.557)
Mm-hmm.
Ha ha ha.
Brian (22:32.142)
Hmm.
Greg & Valerie (22:36.846)
or just not.
having the impact, the ripple that America’s kids belong made coming to Kentucky came at the perfect time for us when we’re like, okay, now what if we, what if we got onto that ripple and we created more ripples from that and amplify the impact and that’s, so the timing was great for us to get involved in more advocacy initiatives and leveraging our, my network, personal network, blending our family with
Brian (22:53.816)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (23:09.455)
your marriage to have an impact on our community. And so now we’ve got 10x more kids adopted than we ever adopted because we helped fuel positive outcomes that AKB, America’s Kids Belong is seeding. So, you know, that’s cool.
Brian (23:22.05)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (23:32.142)
Yeah, that’s a similar story to my wife and I who fostered and then felt like we needed to help mobilize others to do it. So Greg, people who maybe don’t understand running a nonprofit, running a nonprofit is like running two businesses because the one that gets the work done and fulfills the mission
the people that you do to help that, they can’t afford what you’re providing. So kids can’t pay us to help them find families. So then we have to depend on other people to fund it. And so that’s the other side of the business. then I run out of friends to fund it. So then we got to have people like you who say, you know what?
Travis (24:06.231)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (24:24.682)
You
Brian (24:28.098)
we can help with not just the advocacy and helping with your mission, but we can help with funding the mission. And so you’ve done a fun event that’s been successful, that’s really helped fund the work in Kentucky. And so I’d love for you to share that and see if that could inspire any listeners to think, I could do something like that too.
Greg & Valerie (24:51.235)
Yeah. when we, Brian and I first were chatting about how can we be involved? I thought, know, we got to raise a hundred grand. How can we raise a hundred grand? And, everyone loves golf outings and we love, people love to sponsor things. Top golf just came to our community and we thought, you know what, what if we, what if we had a tournament? And so.
Brian (25:02.082)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (25:18.415)
We actually, we have a little, we have a group of us, there’s a group of couples here in Kentucky that are just, they’re so gracious with their time and they’re all in with us and we’re a really close group and we all kind of rallied around, yeah, that’s the idea we want to go with. We had a couple other ideas too, but we thought the risk was low enough and the upside was significant enough to where, let’s just try it. It was a safe to try experiment.
Brian (25:38.264)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (25:46.222)
Mmm.
Travis (25:46.552)
Hmm
Greg & Valerie (25:47.759)
that the worst thing could ever happen is we cover our costs. And we made people aware of Kentucky. That was just kind of like, what the heck? It was a literally what the heck moment. And so we ended up, we did about a hundred thousand or so. Almost. Yeah. We netted, we didn’t do that. And then last, we did it again last year, we netted about 120, so a about 30 or so.
Brian (25:51.404)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Travis (25:51.618)
Yeah.
Brian (25:55.721)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Brian (26:06.658)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (26:13.41)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (26:16.503)
You’d be surprised what corporate support can do. think individuals are, they’re limitations. They’ve got their churches, they’ve got the community things, they’ve got their kids activities. Well, corporate support is different. And I have never met a business in our city that doesn’t want to feel like, feel like they’re engaged in their own community. And so, so long as you have a compelling why and you have a connection.
Brian (26:32.654)
Mmm.
Brian (26:41.966)
Mmm.
Greg & Valerie (26:47.151)
You can you can find those partners who are willing to to show up play around a golf Sponsor sponsor Elaine. Yeah, I think in any community you’re gonna find that people will want to say yes to help They really do because they all I think a lot of people feel like they could never do it themselves But they are very eager to help and I think whatever thing that you decide to do as a fundraiser
Travis (27:07.916)
Mm-hmm. Right.
Greg & Valerie (27:14.095)
They’re going to say yes. mean, who says no to children? just thinking from personal experience, I just, think a lot of people want to say yes and help. Yeah. I think there’s, I’m going to make this numbers up. Okay. But I’d say if, there’s, if there’s a hundred thousand people in a community, adults, 50,000 of them would love to find a way to help kids in foster care somehow, some way.
Travis (27:18.445)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (27:40.739)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (27:41.239)
Only about 1 % will actually be interested in in doing foster care and a fraction of that will actually foster So what do you do with all the other 49.5 Like I want to do something that I just you know, I can’t commit to that I’m empathetic Yes, it’s a problem. I acknowledge. It’s a problem. I don’t know what to do about it But I can write a check for $3,000 to sponsor a whole top golf
Travis (27:48.652)
Right.
Brian (27:48.824)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Brian (27:53.868)
Yeah, that’s leaving a lot of people on the sidelines, right?
Brian (28:09.088)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Greg & Valerie (28:09.691)
six of my employees to go. And in the process, we’re going to get four kids adopted.
Travis (28:10.136)
Yeah.
Travis (28:15.874)
Yeah.
Brian (28:15.958)
Yeah, yeah, that’s awesome. Yeah.
Greg & Valerie (28:17.167)
So that story is way more compelling and is a way easier ask. Ask them to write a check for that amount. It’s not $30,000. I’m asking for $3,000 on average. So our goal now is to get outside of our own spheres and circles that we have and use our team to expand our reach throughout Kentucky a little more. hopefully one day, maybe it’s this year, maybe even rent out a second floor.
Brian (28:20.472)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Brian (28:28.206)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Greg & Valerie (28:47.823)
So we ran out of entire floor. Maybe we’ll get it fixed. And we’ll see. Yeah. It’s a lot. But it’s fun. Everyone comes together. Our kids come together. It’s a big family event for all of our teams. 300 people, right? Yeah. So two floors, we can get 600 people in there. That’d be great. Crazy. As you say that, I go. Greg and some of the other team members, I big. then Dana and I, our state manager, Dana and I sit in the background and go like this.
Brian (28:47.948)
Yeah. Wow. That’s a lot.
Travis (29:02.882)
Wow.
Brian (29:06.318)
Wow
Travis (29:10.668)
Ha ha ha.
Travis (29:17.272)
What do we do with this?
Greg & Valerie (29:19.023)
Yeah, we’re doing another event we’re gonna save to try experiment again this spring. It’s actually next month this month may That’s kind of fun. could we could talk about that later, but we’re doing a we did some barrel picks with some bourbon Elijah Craig bourbon and because we are in Kentucky this And safe to try experiment we’re gonna try to give away some bottles of change for some donations
Travis (29:21.088)
Wow.
Brian (29:39.606)
You’re in Kentucky, yes. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Travis (29:40.22)
Here it gets…
Brian (29:47.168)
Yeah, I mean, it totally makes sense. Yeah. If you guys were in Idaho, you’d do, sell potatoes to people, guess. don’t know. Potato pull.
Travis (29:58.208)
Not as fun.
Well, one of the things that’s really cool just in this conversation too is it’s a reminder and you both have said this, just that awareness is as crucial as having, you know, new foster families step in. In fact, we’ve talked a lot about attrition and how, you know, if the nation already is short by half the foster parents needed and every year 50 % are quitting, there’s this just, there’s this cultural thing of just attrition. That’s just, it plagues foster care.
Greg & Valerie (30:32.505)
Yeah, totally.
Travis (30:34.166)
So when we can shore up the people and give, know, and there’s always going to be good reasons you may adopt and, know, to why you step out. But for those that feel unsupported or isolated or alone or that businesses don’t see them, what you guys are doing, what Kentucky Kids Belong is doing, America’s Kids Belong is doing is shoring up support. And I think we really will see less families quit that normally would have. So that’s really exciting. So going into more of your story on this, Val,
You’ve kind of been the face, at least sometimes in Kentucky, and I’ve seen some of the news stories you’ve been on and, you know, doing just an awesome job, know, face sort of for Kentucky kids belong for the need. Tell us more about just what has it been like to, you know, kind of be featured in these stories and, know, what have you learned from kind of doing that?
Brian (31:11.416)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (31:22.627)
Well, I learned that people are eager. They want to learn more about it because it is this like, everyone looks at it and thinks, my gosh, how do you guys do that? That’s so hard. And, you must be these special people. And I’m like, no, we’re not. We’re very normal people who just saw the need. we’re bound and determined to have a family and had so much to share. But I just want to make everyone know that this is not, you don’t have to have special skills and
Anyone can say yes. You just have to get outside of your comfort zone and ask questions. that’s why I want to do all of the interview that anyone asks. It was very uncomfortable doing them at first. It’s not in my wheelhouse. He loves this. But I’m learning because I want to share everything that I can to make it not seem so weird or not seem so scary. I just want to
If anybody had, I’ll offer coffee with anybody who wants to talk foster care, because if I can get one person to learn more, then I feel like that ripple effect will continue. but it just so easy to be on fire for because what higher purpose or what greater thing do we have to do in this world than this?
Brian (32:38.446)
So I’m curious about, mean, there might be some people out there who are foster and adoptive parents who want to amplify their voice and they would be good ambassadors for it. And, you know, they’re not just trying to seek limelight. If that’s what you want, please don’t do this. So, but if you are just a humble person who feels that you want to amplify your voice, how did that happen for you? How did all of a sudden you got…
know, media outlets saying, can we talk to you about this?
Greg & Valerie (33:10.719)
that’s so, being connected with the Catholic church and our community, we have a really large archdiocese. So we actually, some of our friends were connected to some of those outlets. And so that was, you know, good being, you know, active in our church led us down that path. And, they just asked us to share. And I think we had a lot of, you know, right to life movements and things like that. They wouldn’t incorporate foster care with, because I think that kind of gets forgotten.
Brian (33:15.341)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (33:40.44)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (33:40.587)
And that field a lot. But yeah, just knowing different people at different churches and saying, hey, can I come and talk to your group then or there or just, you know, yourself out there? You know, we had one person show up, you know, one of the meetings and I’m like, you know, it’s one person could still have an effect. I have so many thoughts on this that are tangential to your question, you know, foster care and faith is
Travis (33:50.168)
Hmm. No.
Brian (33:58.04)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Brian (34:04.461)
Yeah, go ahead.
Brian (34:09.71)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (34:10.223)
are totally in alignment. know, Christ is, Christ, and St. Joseph is the foster father of Christ, you know, for one example. And so our faith communities have a tremendous opportunity to have impact outside of Sunday service, to support and engage with families to normalize foster care. And I just think, we think it’s a big miss and
We think faith communities really need to explore and unpack how can they incorporate foster care into their mission. And that’s one piece. The second piece is if a couple, if you want successful outcomes as a couple and you want to go forward and do it, approach foster care well and have success, whatever that is for you. I think there’s three ingredients.
Brian (34:45.624)
Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (35:09.319)
One is having a sound relationship in your own marriage and relationship with your spouse and partner. you don’t have that, foster care is not going to fix that. It will challenge it. Okay? Number one. Number two, you need to be in the right stage of life and frame of mind. So if you’re not ready for it in your life and you have the fortitude personally, that’s an issue. And then third is you have to have faith.
Travis (35:19.138)
Yeah, right. That’s true.
Brian (35:19.372)
That’s for sure. Yeah.
Brian (35:33.741)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (35:38.543)
I think now, is it a must have? I think it’s like you really should have. that’s where I think again, the blend of where the faith communities can support couples who are ready in that stage of life to blend the two together versus make it a separate thing that it’s all the same. It’s all in one ecosystem is where you get amazing outcomes. I think, I think.
Travis (35:51.831)
Hmm.
Travis (36:00.696)
Yeah.
Brian (36:01.932)
Yeah, yeah. Let’s keep going down kind of those lessons that you encapsulated in those three points. So together, Greg and Val, what would you say as a couple that you share with other couples? You probably have done this multiple times of like, hey, here’s how we’d want to share our story and encourage you to consider.
stepping, taking your next step. What would you share?
Greg & Valerie (36:35.663)
I’m going defer to my CEO. We’ve done several dinners with friends of ours that, you know, they’re almost like we’ve thought about it. They’ve done their research, but there’s just that one more thing that they’re worried about. And I think at the end of the day, if you check all of those things, like he said, you’re, know, you have all your marriage is good. You’re in the right place. You have faith. And they’re still kind of hung up on that, you know, whatever the fourth or fifth point might be. At the end of the day, we say, what have you got to lose?
Brian (36:37.922)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (36:39.224)
Ha
Brian (36:49.742)
Mmm.
Greg & Valerie (37:05.975)
I mean, you’re you’re gonna get attached to whatever child might come in and that’s fine. That’s what you should do but We we love each other we fill each other up and and God fills us up and these children don’t have that and so whatever your hang-up is or whatever your these kids need our love more than Than we need anything else You also do risk yourself by by
Travis (37:09.848)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (37:26.68)
Brian (37:29.43)
I like that, yeah.
Greg & Valerie (37:33.775)
trying respite care. Go get certified. respite. And if respite kind of works out well, you like that, sign yourself up for emergency placement. And you can baby step in. There’s other ways to support these kids who need, they have needs and you can have an impact and they’re going to remember you forever. They may not remember your name, but they’ll remember that impact you made.
Travis (37:35.724)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (37:36.738)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (37:56.568)
Right.
Brian (37:57.614)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Travis (38:00.461)
Hmm.
Greg & Valerie (38:00.883)
We had several friends of ours that got into it. They started with respite and then they, you know, gradually went on to do more and they’ve adopted, you know, several kids since then. So it is hard. It is challenging. You will be challenged. You will be tired. Will not sleep some nights. You will have all that. But it’s it’s kind of the same. I think if we had our own kids to. Right, I think, isn’t it?
Travis (38:10.424)
Hmm.
Brian (38:18.478)
Hmph.
Brian (38:25.742)
Yes, yes, yes, uh-huh, yes.
Travis (38:25.944)
This is true, yes.
Greg & Valerie (38:30.721)
I don’t know what’s different. It’s all hard. Yeah. But the outcomes are are rewarding in that we’re creating souls who are ready to have beget lives that are rewarding and happy and fulfilled. Yeah. We think.
Brian (38:33.25)
Yeah.
Brian (38:46.499)
Yeah.
Travis (38:48.022)
Yeah, that’s so good. I mean, I do love too that you’re just being real. You’re normalizing very much that you had fear, that we have fear when we step in a space. And so I think when you normalize that, because I think there’s a lot of people that are like, well, you had the courage to just do it, or you didn’t have trepidation or whatever. like, no, it’s like the point is to do great things often requires a leap. And that’s where you talk about faith.
Brian (38:55.224)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (39:09.134)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Brian (39:13.614)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (39:14.252)
Reminds me too of a great line said, you know, world’s changed by your example, not your opinion. And I think when people are seeing you guys be the face of this in your circles of influence, they’re following your lead more than, you know, anything. So, as we kind of come to a, you know, get this to the final, part of the interview, Greg, what would you tell them and pivoting to businesses, you know, looking at this issue in their community, what would be your message to, to them as far as coming alongside families?
Brian (39:20.302)
Mm.
Brian (39:25.262)
Mm-hmm.
Greg & Valerie (39:43.299)
Yeah, I would say foster care is something that affects all of us in our communities. If you looked out the street and any city dealing with homelessness, I guarantee you that person was probably in foster care. I don’t have the percentages on the rates, but strong chance they’re in foster care. If you want to look at mental illness and you want to look at prison rates and all that, probably has a direct correlation to foster care. So if you want to make an impact in your community,
Brian (39:56.002)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (40:02.445)
Mm.
Greg & Valerie (40:14.177)
helping find ways to get these kids into loving homes where they’re literally waiting, literally waiting to be matched is a very low bar where you can make a big impact on. And you marry that with the fact that you probably have people that are working for you that have a connection to foster care. Maybe they were adopted. Maybe they’re thinking about it. they have a sibling who they’re doing respite care for their sibling who’s fostering. There’s so many connections to foster care.
Brian (40:21.74)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (40:32.32)
It.
Greg & Valerie (40:43.853)
that you showing that to your own people. There’s a business play to show that you’re compassionate about this cause that affects more people than you think in your own business. So I think those two avenues are reasons enough to get engaged.
Brian (40:57.58)
Yeah, it’s kind of hidden, as soon as you start talking about it, yeah, it’s amazing how many people, I mean, every other Uber driver I know has had a foster care experience.
Greg & Valerie (41:01.539)
everywhere.
Greg & Valerie (41:06.543)
we were getting a lot tonight and the fundraiser gala and the woman with us her sister is adopted and She’s and they’re in their 30s now and they’re trying to they’re helping each other navigate life together and and they they were touched by it I mean, it’s everywhere
Brian (41:16.258)
Yeah.
Brian (41:24.558)
Yeah, it is. is everywhere, though at the same time, it kind of gets hidden, especially in the business world where they, when they want to make an impact in the community, they look out and they are like, well, there’s typically homelessness, addiction, and maybe human trafficking. Those are the three bad things in the world. that’s like, there’s more than that. And a lot of them go upstream to a kid who did not have a family that was safe. And so, yeah.
Greg & Valerie (41:49.327)
100%.
Brian (41:51.17)
Well, you too, you’ve been a huge blessing to me and to so many people in Kentucky and not obviously the kids. And we said that out and you’ve outsized your impact. mean, we’re out. I don’t know how to say, you know what I mean? And you’ve that you’ve but you’ve gotten businesses involved. Church is paying attention to this. And you’re a great example. And I would love for other people just to again.
consider your example and think, gosh, yeah, I can make a personal impact and believe that’s, and that is enough. But if you feel called to say, I want to use our experience and find some way to leverage it and amplify it, I would encourage you to do what Greg and Valerie did. because it touches so many lives.
Greg & Valerie (42:48.057)
beautifully said, we’re undeserving of it. We’re super, super normal and average. And I hope people listening to this know someone who might be thinking about it, who’s probably pretty extraordinary, who might be discerning. So we hope they’ll consider it.
Brian (43:02.2)
Mm.
Brian (43:06.072)
Well, thank you guys. God bless you. Really appreciate you joining us on this call and really appreciate what you guys are doing.
Greg & Valerie (43:13.071)
was fun. Thanks for having us. We appreciate it.
Travis (43:14.744)
Thank you.
